I know as Christians, we tend to put sexual lust at the top of the list of sins. In my community growing up, movies and TV shows with any sign of a sex scene were put on the black list. But what if our emotional response is just as much a part of our sexual integrity as our physical response? What if we’ve focused so much on sexual lust, that we’ve failed to acknowledge the role of emotional lust?
We’ve all felt awkward around the opposite sex before, “Are we just friends? Do they like me? Is it worth being friends with the opposite sex?” It’s easy to navigate friendships if you can start with this principle: the guys and girls in your life are your brothers and sisters. That is, until a conversation or commitment has taken the friendship to the next level. A very simple way of looking at it is that we are all family.
Refusing to risk is normally backed by a form of fear: afraid of being rejected and ending up alone, afraid of being seen then declared to be not worth it, afraid of the pain of the breakup, afraid of what others may think, afraid of wasting time, afraid of missing out on someone else. Protecting yourself from this pain by not engaging in relationships doesn’t actually protect you from pain. If anything, it keeps you trapped in it by convincing you that fear is safer than love.
When pain from the past goes unresolved and unhealed, it leads to self-protective measures and often bitterness. We make accusations and judgments against the other gender and consciously or subconsciously create walls and space between us. While we both have fallen into this trap, this is how your actions are affecting the men that you’re hoping will pursue you.
Our society seems to dictate that men pursue women and not the other way around. This can create a pretty powerless culture for the girls who want to date and eventually be married but aren’t being pursued. I’ve heard countless women tell me how painful of a process it is to work on yourself, be ready to date, and still sit around waiting for your faith-filled Prince Charming to come along. Here are some practical steps you can take towards finding the man you’ve been waiting for.
What you believe about yourself changes everything. How can something as small as a thought change your entire life? It can, because it's the way we were designed..
Being single in the holidays can be hard for many people. This can be especially difficult for those that have just suffered a loss, a divorce, or have children that are away with their ex-spouse. I know this scenario full well. The traditions that you created over the years have to be tossed out or re-adapted. Your home feels emptier and the loss feels greater particularly on Christmas day.
Okay, let’s be honest. Something awful can take place during the holidays that is a complete joy stealer. During the holiday season, it is so easy to get stuck in a holidaze. Yes, I made up that word. I mean a “daze” when we scroll through our feeds and then start to think that what we’re doing isn’t enough.
I know you’re the nice guy, but you’re not really getting what you want out of relationships and no one really knows (or perhaps has said) why. While I know tons of people less prepared or qualified who have entered into a relationship and even marriage, I've also found a few beliefs or hard truths that have kept many nice guys’ process from being as smooth as it could have been.
We and all of our friends who have once identified as LGBTQ or experienced any kind of confusion in our sexuality regard films like Boy Erased, with pain and frustration, knowing its scenario is not God’s heart for people. We know his pain first hand. Rejection and misunderstanding while walking out your faith are painful, especially when you question your sexuality. Fearing this, many in church stay hidden.
Like a lot of women, I’ve seen the advertisements and the pictures in magazines of women with flawless skin and perfect bodies. I’ve read the articles and heard the sales pitches about the perfect hairstyle, lipstick, or piece of clothing I need to make me beautiful. I’ve struggled against the draw to compare myself to the girl next to me. I’ve heard my heart ask a lot of questions, all pointing to the main question: “Am I Enough?”
Among the things not specifically addressed in the Bible (mainly because it was written thousands of years ago) is the intriguing world of online dating. This brings us to a few questions: Should Christians use online dating? Does dating online mean I’m not “trusting God”? How do you navigate online dating?