We can often feel the most intimidated by things we don’t understand. The fear of the unknown can lead us down paths of thinking that cause us to over-emphasize the worst-case scenarios while losing hope that good is possible. Pornography and sexual addiction, in general, actually falls into this category for most. It is hard to understand something that is so damaging and yet those who find themselves in the cycle of it see no way out.
I believe that shame grows in the dark. We begin to question ourselves, “if they really knew me…. then what?” The things that we believe no one would be able to forgive, look past, or overcome cause so much fear, we choose to hide. As shame grows in the dark it begins to own our thoughts, our identities or we simply bury it so deep we are in denial about it altogether.
When you’re in the middle of what feels like a debilitating trial, it’s easy to think that God favors others more than you, or that the situation that you are going through is somehow beyond God’s ability to fix it. I know these feelings all too well…
The greatest kryptonite of relational depth is insecurity. In romantic relationships, insecurities can cause a couple to spend hours, days, and even years circling back to issues that seem to never go away. In friendships, insecurities assume the worst rather than believe the best. In marriages, insecurities can cause one partner to shut down, another to be jealous and a marriage to fall apart. In our relationship with God, insecurity minimizes us to a form of godliness. It is imperative that a healthy individual get to know themselves, become sold out to the belief that God made you that way on purpose, and then love what God created. So here are some practical steps to becoming more secure in who you are…
I know what you’re thinking: these last eight months were pointless. The emotions, the time, the dates, the gifts – useless, wasted, the stuff you throw away like scraps of paper. Except the scraps are your heart, and the wasted time was your life. He’s gone, you’re here, and though you know how to move on and you’re walking forward with the Lord, it’s hard to see the purpose in an ended relationship.
Whether it was pushing boundaries with your significant other, or making the decision to look at that website you know you shouldn’t be on, you messed up. So what’s next? How do you not partner with shame? How do you move forward in a healthy way? We totally understand, check out our 3 step guide to cleaning up your mess.
Most of us have had our heart broken at some point in our life. Most of us have felt rejected or discarded by someone. It’s extremely painful and no one enjoys the feeling of “not being chosen.” So how do we deal with that rejection? How do we not believe the lie that we are “less than” or “not as good as” that other girl or guy who was chosen? I know this pain more than I’d like to admit. I faced one of the biggest rejections of my life when my husband chose to give his heart to somebody else…
Most of us don’t want to continue living with unhealthy and detrimental bad habits. We want to change, but are we focused on the wrong things? Do we really have a plan to able to continue the change we’re looking for?
I experienced every kind of abuse growing up, including sexual abuse. I started experiencing same-sex attraction and grew up being called gay, ridiculed by people close to me because of it. I was actually attracted to girls as well, but no one affirmed that in me. I decided to identify myself as a gay male when I was 17.
When I was fifteen, I was blindsided by sexual assault, and for the rest of high school, I struggled with depression, cutting, weight gain, self-hate, pornography and masturbation, fear of men, and PTSD. I was terrified of revisiting the incident so I suppressed it and went on medication to cope with my health and psychological issues.
Is it possible to walk through pain and come out the other side really okay? Yes. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Most definitely. Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4).…
Who we love, how we love, whether or not we can love and leave, and the penalty for certain expressions of love are being questioned. Secular culture is confronting the Church’s inability to articulate the greatest commandment.