If you live around single Christians who want to please God long enough, you’ll run into this conversation a few times - or maybe experience it yourself. We completely believe God cares and is invested passionately and intimately about our lives and speaks to us about our relationships. We also realize that there could be some other areas and beliefs influencing how you hear God.
When you see someone you’re attracted to, awesome, opportunity time. Ask yourself, “what am I attracted to about this person? What do I like about him/her?” Is it his confidence? Is it her kindness? Does he represent a really good caring dad to me - one that I wish I was or wish I had when I was growing up?
Join Debra Fileta who is a licensed professional counselor who is focused on relationships, and an advocate for “healthy people make healthy relationships”. In this podcast Debra, Caitlin and Sloane dive into the common myths about purity culture and break the boxes surrounding them. “It isn’t a toxic purity culture, it’s toxic shame culture. Purity is not toxic, it is the shame, the isolation, the hiding.” Sex is so sacred and is created to be beautiful within the perimeters of marriage. In Debra’s story, shame and guilt didn’t help her break free of sexual sin but the realization that sex is God’s gift and is beautiful in the right place and time. Perspective is empowering, before marriage, but also how it impacts us within a marriage. It is time for all of us to break out of the shame of our histories and step into the fullness God has for us!!!
If you want to hear more from Debra her Instagram handle is @truelovedates
Resources:
True Love Dates by Debra Fileta
Choosing Marriage by Debra Fileta
Love in every season by Debra Fileta
The Naked Truth about Sexuality by Havilah Cunnington
Our sex drive allows us to connect with our spouse and create a bond for life. It’s the glue that seals together. As much as we’d like to think we’re rubber and people can just bounce off of us, the reality is that when we have sexual encounters, we’re being glued together.
Join Damien Giacchino, who is the associate pastor at Real Life Church in Sacramento California and has his masters degree in counseling. Damien joins Caitlin Zick and Sloane Wilson and shares his story of how the Lord restored his life from living a worldly life to encountering the Lord and having his story be redeemed. During his pursuit of the Lord, he was given the message of the importance of not awakening love too early. He talks about the effect of hookup culture, the impact of having the voice of fathers/mothers in our lives, the pursuit of abstinence, how to manage loneliness while single and much more!! If you want to hear more from Damien his Instagram handle is @dgiacchino.
In a recent survey I conducted, one of the top 3 ways currently married people found their partner was thanks to the world of online dating websites and apps. All this to say, people are using online platforms more than ever before, and with the stay at home orders, the online dating world has seen an increase in numbers of people.
For many partners, finding out their significant other has secretly watched porn can feel just they discovered they’ve been cheated on. For some other partners, they may feel upset but not betrayed. And still, for others, they may not be bothered at all by their partner’s porn habit.
Dr. Margaret Nagib, Christian Clinical Psychologist, joins Caitlin Zick and Sloane Wilson as they dive into attachment styles. Attachment styles the base of how you relate to people from childhood. They create patterns of how you think, feel, and respond to people in relationship based on what you learned when you were younger. Dr. Margaret talks about the different types of attachment styles, and how you can identify which you relate to the most and why.
It’s easy to spend so much time trying to find the right one, that you lose yourself in the process. Take the time to get to know yourself, so that you can get to know what kind of person will be a good fit for your life, and what kind of person won’t be.
Porn, and sexuality in general, can be very sensitive and personal topics. Consider how people tend to get pretty defensive and have the most emotional response to personal topics. Bringing porn up in terms of how you are involved with the movement in your life could be a softer opening to the topic. Talk like you’re telling your own story, and they’ll ideally respond with theirs.
Once punishment is off the table, however, how do we move forward? First, we need to establish that both people in the relationship have the goal of restoration and are ready to do the challenging work of restoring connection and rebuilding trust. If the offending party is not repentant, or the injured party is not willing to forgive, they won’t be able to move toward each other.
Toxic relationships can bring you down in a way that not many other things can, because relationships are such an integral part of our life as human beings. It’s important to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship so you can begin distancing yourself from them long before you get attached.
