TikTok is full of dating theories that sound wise but crumble under the weight of Scripture. From the taxicab theory to the invisible string theory to "if they wanted to, they would," these ideas shape how an entire generation approaches relationships. Here's what holds up and what doesn't.
What Is the Taxicab Theory in Dating?
The taxicab theory comes from Sex and the City and goes like this: men are like taxi cabs. One day their light just turns on, and the next person who gets in is the one they marry. It's not about finding the right person. It's about being ready.
Here’s the truth… Does it happen like this sometimes? Sure. Some people wait until they feel established before pursuing marriage. But turning that into a universal theory is a stretch. Proverbs 24:27 says, "Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready. After that, build your house." There's wisdom in preparing. But the taxicab theory takes it too far by reducing marriage all to timing instead of intentionality.
Don't wait forever. There's honor in building a life together from scratch. Struggling together builds resilience, teamwork, and trust. You don't need a perfect setup to start a marriage. You need a willing heart.
Is the Invisible String Theory Biblical?
The invisible string theory says two people are tied together by an unseen thread, and no matter what happens, they're destined to meet and end up together. Taylor Swift made this idea famous, but it's been floating around for a long time.
Here's the distinction: looking back and connecting the dots after you've chosen someone is fine. That's gratitude. That's seeing God's hand in your story. But using this theory as a roadmap to find your person? That's a problem. It turns into a version of the soulmate myth, where you're passively waiting for fate to deliver someone instead of actively pursuing wisdom, community, and godly partnership.
Your soulmate isn't someone floating around in the universe attached to you by a cosmic thread. Your soulmate is the person you choose to enter into covenant with. Use the invisible string as a rearview mirror, not a GPS.
Does "If They Wanted To, They Would" Actually Work?
This one has more truth to it than most. The theory says: when someone is actually interested, they don't send mixed signals. They make the effort. And if they're not making the effort, they're giving you your answer.
No mincing words here. If you've been analyzing someone's behavior for weeks, looking for hidden signs of interest, piecing together scraps of evidence, the answer is probably no. 1 John 3:18 says, "Let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth." If someone is interested, you'll know. If you have to convince yourself they are, that's your sign to move on.
But a caveat. This theory works best at the beginning of a relationship when you're gauging initial interest. Once you're in a committed relationship, "if they wanted to, they would" can become an excuse to avoid communicating your needs. Six months in, your partner might not know what you need because you haven't told them. That's not disinterest. That's a communication gap.
Is the Slow Burn Theory a Good Approach to Dating?
The slow burn theory says relationships that start as friendships and build gradually tend to be stronger and last longer. While we won’t outright say this theory is biblical, it can definitely be considered wise.
Chemistry is real, but chemistry alone doesn't build a marriage. The reality is that people often overplay the chemistry card. They jump into a relationship based on attraction, skip the friendship phase, and then realize they don't actually know how to have a real conversation with the person they married. A friendship foundation gives you something to fall back on when the feelings fluctuate.
But here's the asterisk: if you're sitting in a great friendship with someone of the opposite sex and refusing to explore it because "it might ruin things," that's fear talking. If you have a strong friendship with someone and there's potential there, take the risk. Explore it. Date respectfully and see what happens. Because the moment one of you marries someone else, that friendship changes forever anyway.
1 Corinthians 13 describes love as patient and kind. There's something deeply biblical about love that grows slowly, rooted in genuine knowing.
What About the Multiple Soulmates Theory?
This theory says you don't have one true love. You have several right people for different seasons, and who you end up with depends on timing and choice. We reject this premise.
The issue is how the theory defines "soulmate." Genesis 2:24 says a man leaves his father and mother, is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Your soul becomes mated to someone when you marry them. It's not a discovery. It's a covenant. So no, there aren't multiple soulmates floating around waiting for their season.
That said, there's a grain of truth here. What you're attracted to at 20 is not what you're attracted to at 30 or 40. People change. And if you've experienced loss, like the death of a spouse, Scripture is clear that you're free to marry again (1 Corinthians 7:39). But that's not "multiple soulmates." That's the faithfulness of God meeting you in a new season.
Once you're in a marriage, that person is your person. Period. You don't get to use this theory as an escape hatch when things get hard.
So Which Dating Theories Should Christians Actually Follow?
None of them wholesale. Some theories on this list contain a fragment of truth wrapped in a cultural framework that doesn't account for God, covenant, or the complexity of real people. The taxicab theory is right that readiness matters, but wrong that it's everything. The slow burn theory is right that friendship builds a strong foundation, but wrong if it keeps you frozen in fear. "If they wanted to, they would" is right about early interest, but dangerous when used to avoid communication in committed relationships.
The best dating theory is the one that starts with knowing who you are in God, communicates honestly, and moves toward covenant. Everything else is just TikTok.
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Related Reading
- Attachment Theory and Dating: What Every Christian Should Know
- Are Soul Ties Real? What the Bible Actually Says
- The Soulmate Myth: Why 'The One' Isn't Biblical
Frequently Asked Questions
Are dating theories from TikTok biblical?
Most popular dating theories contain a fragment of truth but aren't rooted in Scripture. Theories like the taxicab theory, invisible string theory, and multiple soulmates theory all miss the biblical reality that marriage is a covenant, not a product of fate or timing. Use them as conversation starters, not as guides for your love life. Filter everything through Scripture and wise counsel.
Is there one person God has picked for me to marry?
The Bible doesn't teach that there's one predetermined person you're destined to find. Genesis 2:24 describes marriage as a choice to leave, unite, and become one flesh. Your soulmate becomes your soulmate when you enter into covenant. That means the pressure isn't on finding the one. It's on becoming the kind of person who can build a healthy, God-honoring marriage with the person you choose.
Should I date my best friend?
If there's genuine potential for a romantic relationship with a close friend, it's worth exploring. Friendship is one of the strongest foundations for marriage. The fear that dating will ruin the friendship is real, but the truth is that once one of you marries someone else, the friendship changes anyway. Date with respect and honesty. If it doesn't work out, a friendship built on maturity can survive that.
