I’ve always been the woman who’s not afraid to ask a guy out. In my early twenties, my social prowess felt like a gift. But just beneath my cool exterior was a self-conscious girl who believed the right guy would never find me, that I had to make it happen. Last year, I encountered the harsh reality that I was thirty, still single, and stuck in a toxic relationship cycle. I’ve discovered that not giving men the opportunity to pursue us wholeheartedly can potentially shipwreck our relationships.

Do you know someone that always has to have a love interest in their life? Someone who is never satisfied with just being single for a season, but who gets their needs met from having relationship after relationship? The “Habitual Dating Cycle” is characterized by someone who has made dating a habit by dating many, many people. They are never fully satisfied and eventually become bored with who is in front of them - so they move on. People who habitually date usually care most about getting their own needs met, and not as much for the heart in front of them.

I dated the most insane person. No seriously, I really think he was crazy. At the time, he seemed great! Thanks to my friends it only took me two months to realize my prince charming was actually a frog. That is why they say “love is blind,” but there is a balance in knowing what flaws to look past and what are major red flags. Since my vision was blurred, my family and friends helped correct my eyesight. There were three red flags that my friends and I picked up on that helped me avoid making a HUGE mistake by comparing true love to his counterfeit love.