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3 Obstacles Every Married Couple Needs To Overcome

The other day I was telling my coworker stories from the early days of my marriage. It was one of those moments that made me realize, Wow—we really did not know the tools for building a successful marriage back then . . . but thank goodness we found them, because where we are now looks nothing like those days! The first and most important question we learned to ask ourselves was this: “Who is my counselor right now—love or fear?” Listening to fear led me to see Ben as an opponent, not a partner.

Don’t Awaken Love Too Early

Because our destinies hinge on the choices we make, I believe it's important to pursue and encounter love from God before pursuing and awakening romantic or sexual love from another person.

Stop Hating Yourself

“We berate ourselves, talk negatively about our bodies, yearn to look like something else, concentrate on our flaws and yes, we even cry about what we look like in the mirror. We stop eating, work out more, take pills, shakes, and eat bars. All in the name of beauty? I don't want my daughter growing up to believe that her tummy is too round, or her legs aren't quite what they should be, or her triceps need to be more defined. I don't want her to think she's not gorgeous without makeup slathered on her face. If she wants to be a totally made up body builder, great. But I don't want her to need it to feel good about herself. I want her to feel beautiful when she wakes up in the morning, unashamed to be seen in public.”

Accountability as a Couple

Accountability is not having someone to control you, that is not freedom. Accountability is having someone that you trust, who you can be real and raw with, someone that will love you through your messes and struggles and who will empower you to make great decisions.

Restoring the Heart of the Father

Understanding God as our Father and truly leaning into a relationship with Him through that paradigm has many challenges in our generation. It is clear that God wants to engage with us in this way because in the book of John alone God is referred to as Father over one hundred times. I, myself, have been on a journey to truly see God this way and understand what it means for Him to love me as His son. My personal challenges have been the walls I created as a child to protect myself from the pain of disappointing people.

Risking the Breakup

Refusing to risk is normally backed by a form of fear: afraid of being rejected and ending up alone, afraid of being seen then declared to be not worth it, afraid of the pain of the breakup, afraid of what others may think, afraid of wasting time, afraid of missing out on someone else. Protecting yourself from this pain by not engaging in relationships doesn’t actually protect you from pain. If anything, it keeps you trapped in it by convincing you that fear is safer than love.

Getting to Know Yourself: Keys to Overcoming Insecurity

The greatest kryptonite of relational depth is insecurity. In romantic relationships, insecurities can cause a couple to spend hours, days, and even years circling back to issues that seem to never go away. In friendships, insecurities assume the worst rather than believe the best. In marriages, insecurities can cause one partner to shut down, another to be jealous and a marriage to fall apart. In our relationship with God, insecurity minimizes us to a form of godliness. It is imperative that a healthy individual get to know themselves, become sold out to the belief that God made you that way on purpose, and then love what God created. So here are some practical steps to becoming more secure in who you are…

Three Steps to Teach Your Sex Drive to See

“You are not a victim to what you see. You are powerful and capable of teaching your sex drive how to see. In today’s culture, it could be easy to be desensitized by perverse images and people being turned into objects of pleasure rather than people of value to be honored. You have the power to teach yourself how to see people as children of God. Here’s a few steps for a good start…”