We often talk about boundaries in dating. But we leave out why we don’t like boundaries (AT ALL!) and the purpose behind them... This is a conversation about why there’s so much skepticism surrounding boundaries in dating and how those same boundaries fuel the Kingdom calling that is on your relationship. Because yes. There is a Kingdom calling on your relationship and Jesus is waiting on you to see it, especially now, as you date.
Biological parents, step parents, grandparents, friends, teachers, coaches, mentors... we all have the same challenge: Our teens need our leadership and guidance through their most volatile season of life, but we'll only be influential in their lives to the degree that they feel safe around us, heard by us, and unconditionally loved by us.
I’d propose that numerous people have been seduced by things that masquerade as love but are just cheap imitations of the real thing. In fact, I have a growing concern that many within the Church associate God’s love with a version that looks noble on the outside but leads people into deep vortexes of emptiness and bondage.
Our friends are blessings (and sometimes seasons) as we mature throughout life. The people that God puts in our lives are meant to bring us closer to Christ by offering compassion, fellowship, humble correction, and forgiveness. If we want to truly maintain and strengthen our friendships, we need to have an open heart and mind on how to love them better as life goes on.
Choosing counseling takes humility as it exercises the belief that there is always room for growth and improvement. It’s showing yourself and your significant other that you’re willing to grow as an individual while also growing together- this kind of mindset helps build a steadier foundation of trust for your future marriage. The number of sessions you choose to invest in prior to the wedding date are up to you and your counselor, but we recommend anywhere from 5-10 and definitely incorporate counseling into your normal married life routine!
Part of the challenge is that sometimes people confess but they never repent! They get addicted to the feeling that happens when we bring our sins into light and the weight of shame falls off of us. The truth is that many times the addiction to confession doesn’t result in true repentance or a turnaround in behavior. Confession is important but if you think it’s the only step to wholeness, you’re missing out on full restoration!
So what does self-compassion look like? It looks like accepting what Jesus says about us and believing that we are worthy of the compassion He so freely gives to others. When we take that on as Truth, we begin to look at and treat ourselves the way Jesus does.
Here’s the thing: Jesus doesn’t say that “life abundantly” starts when we get married….he says it starts when we enter relationship with Him. For the believer in Christ, life abundantly is happening right here, right now, in this very moment – no matter what your relationship status.
Don’t be afraid to let go of something that you know deep down isn’t right, even if it’s something that looks like what you thought you wanted. Step back, heal your heart, and trust that real love is worth the journey to wholeness.
If you live around single Christians who want to please God long enough, you’ll run into this conversation a few times - or maybe experience it yourself. We completely believe God cares and is invested passionately and intimately about our lives and speaks to us about our relationships. We also realize that there could be some other areas and beliefs influencing how you hear God.