Once punishment is off the table, however, how do we move forward? First, we need to establish that both people in the relationship have the goal of restoration and are ready to do the challenging work of restoring connection and rebuilding trust. If the offending party is not repentant, or the injured party is not willing to forgive, they won’t be able to move toward each other.
During the pandemic, more kids than ever are staying in touch with friends with technology. We’ve received a significant number of parents asking us about what apps their younger kids should be using during these unusual times. We’ve been giving lots of advice and we finally documented it in this blog post where we’ve profiled three possible solutions:
Every respectful conversation requires two powerful people on either side of the communication exchange. Whoever is speaking must be powerful in showing the other person the truth about how the issue is affecting them. The listener must be powerful in actively seeking to understand what the speaker is showing them. The moment one person tries to overpower the other or disappears, respect has vanished.
Sexual sin can creep in as a result of trying to meet our healthy need for connection in an unhealthy way. How does this happen? I’ve found that many people don’t have the skills that they need to build proper friendships in the first place, which can lead them to feeling rejected, isolated, and unworthy of healthy relationships--and they can turn to porn, masturbation, or sex outside of marriage in an attempt to get those relational needs met. But don’t worry, these skills can be learned!
Dann Farrelly and Cole Zick dive into the importance of open and healthy communication in families, marriages, and relationships. Dann gives useful tips for conflict resolution, navigating emotions, and practical insight on how to create a new normal from unhealthy communication habits in the past.
Shame seduces us into secrecy, insists on silence, and results in judgment. When we begin hiding, and are afraid to be vulnerable, we begin blaming others and ourselves for the disconnection that we feel. Instead of pulling people towards us, we push them away, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy that we are not worthy of love and acceptance. So then, disconnection is the result. What can we do to help people who are stuck in this cycle?
“This isn’t working! I am so frustrated! Trying to work with her is impossible when she has no value for my opinions. Can you please just put one of us is in charge, so we can make a decision and…
We’ve all felt awkward around the opposite sex before, “Are we just friends? Do they like me? Is it worth being friends with the opposite sex?” It’s easy to navigate friendships if you can start with this principle: the guys and girls in your life are your brothers and sisters. That is, until a conversation or commitment has taken the friendship to the next level. A very simple way of looking at it is that we are all family.
Because our destinies hinge on the choices we make, I believe it's important to pursue and encounter love from God before pursuing and awakening romantic or sexual love from another person.
Accountability is not having someone to control you, that is not freedom. Accountability is having someone that you trust, who you can be real and raw with, someone that will love you through your messes and struggles and who will empower you to make great decisions.
Dating is a beautiful and ever-changing process that has unique challenges. Throw in the added element of physically not being able to be together, and you have a whole new level of challenges added into the mix. Many people wonder if it’s possible to do it and do it well? The answer is yes and yes!
I’ve always been the woman who’s not afraid to ask a guy out. In my early twenties, my social prowess felt like a gift. But just beneath my cool exterior was a self-conscious girl who believed the right guy would never find me, that I had to make it happen. Last year, I encountered the harsh reality that I was thirty, still single, and stuck in a toxic relationship cycle. I’ve discovered that not giving men the opportunity to pursue us wholeheartedly can potentially shipwreck our relationships.