Beyond the scope of sexual past, one must consider who a person is in their present. We serve a God of grace and mercy, a God who uproots us from our old selfish life and plants us into the soil of holiness and righteousness. For those who are in a true relationship with Jesus, sexual past can no longer be the defining point of their lives.
There are many reasons why people really aren’t ready to commit to covenant. Perhaps you are immature, or started late in the game of growing in personal responsibility?In this situation, the best thing you can do is to ready yourself: discover who you are in God, learn responsibility, get a mentor, and find someone who can help you prepare for the responsibility and joy of marriage.
I think this philosophy of a “soul mate” has done far more harm than good in our society. First and foremost, it’s a concept that is rooted in ancient mythology. Story has it that the gods split human beings as a form of punishment for their pride. Since then, human beings have been on the search to find their “soul mate” in an attempt to reach completion once again.
If you are single and waiting, or maybe just finding yourself in a waiting period for something in your life; I want to encourage you: The same Jesus who gave His life on the cross for you and rose from dead for you and sent His Spirit to empower you and has secured a spot in Heaven for you is the same God you can entrust your future to. He knows your desires, and He is faithful!
Every respectful conversation requires two powerful people on either side of the communication exchange. Whoever is speaking must be powerful in showing the other person the truth about how the issue is affecting them. The listener must be powerful in actively seeking to understand what the speaker is showing them. The moment one person tries to overpower the other or disappears, respect has vanished.
Compatibility. Common goals. Chemistry. If you’re dating, or single and looking to date, these are probably high on the list of things you’re hoping to discover about the person you’re getting to know. While all of those are valid, there’s something deeper, yet just as important, that you need to be paying attention to as you date, and that is this: Is this person healthy and capable of building a healthy relationship? And since it takes one to know one, how do I answer the same question about myself?
Tom Crandall and Cole Zick address the reality of what happens when you form an intimate sexual connection outside of marriage, and the strong influence that can have on us and our life choices. How can we become free from shame? What can we do to move past attachments that we have with people from our past that we’re tied to because we’ve had sexual experiences with them?
Finding someone to whom you are physically attracted is an important part of the equation of a healthy relationship. But it’s not the only part of the equation of attraction. It’s important for us to understand that attraction is multi-faceted. While attraction may start as physical, it’s fueled by other aspects of connection: emotional, mental, and spiritual.
Sexual sin can creep in as a result of trying to meet our healthy need for connection in an unhealthy way. How does this happen? I’ve found that many people don’t have the skills that they need to build proper friendships in the first place, which can lead them to feeling rejected, isolated, and unworthy of healthy relationships--and they can turn to porn, masturbation, or sex outside of marriage in an attempt to get those relational needs met. But don’t worry, these skills can be learned!
We’ve all felt awkward around the opposite sex before, “Are we just friends? Do they like me? Is it worth being friends with the opposite sex?” It’s easy to navigate friendships if you can start with this principle: the guys and girls in your life are your brothers and sisters. That is, until a conversation or commitment has taken the friendship to the next level. A very simple way of looking at it is that we are all family.
Because our destinies hinge on the choices we make, I believe it's important to pursue and encounter love from God before pursuing and awakening romantic or sexual love from another person.
Accountability is not having someone to control you, that is not freedom. Accountability is having someone that you trust, who you can be real and raw with, someone that will love you through your messes and struggles and who will empower you to make great decisions.
