How God Restored My Marriage

Basically, we realized that the box of relational tools we’d been handed by our parents and families was a box of broken tools. We were both the recipients of a legacy of multiple broken marriages and family breakdown.

Basically, we realized that the box of relational tools we’d been handed by our parents and families was a box of broken tools. We were both the recipients of a legacy of multiple broken marriages and family breakdown.

Kids are curious about sex. Spoiler alert: this is normal and healthy. What’s not healthy: going to porn for all the answers. In an ideal situation, a child would feel free to tell their parents about what they heard on the playground or found on the computer by accident. Often, they can be too scared to say anything, and the issue won’t be brought up. We think it’s important for parents to talk to their kids about what porn is before they see it for the first time and keep the conversation open, shame-free, honest, and loving.

Following Christ is not a “gay to straight” journey (both are false constructs.) Discipleship is a matter of changing one’s mind and worldview to believe we are all simply human beings. Together. That path requires real repentance (a change of mind) and an environment that can facilitate life in Christ alongside self-knowledge, understanding of our past, perspective on our gifts or strengths, honor, dignity, transformation, hope… essentially, it requires the kingdom of God.

Talk about pornography early. Talk about pornography often. Make sure your kids have permission to always talk to you about digital “stuff.” And that includes giving your kids permission to talk openly about pornography.

When you see someone you’re attracted to, awesome, opportunity time. Ask yourself, “what am I attracted to about this person? What do I like about him/her?” Is it his confidence? Is it her kindness? Does he represent a really good caring dad to me - one that I wish I was or wish I had when I was growing up?

If you’re watching porn thinking it will teach you something about sex, you’re training for the wrong game. Porn will give you an education, but it only teaches toxic, exaggerated, and fantasized lessons that harm individuals and relationships.

Before you’re married it’s easy to see marriage as the grande finale. It’s the thing we dream of and live for. It’s the force propelling us forward into this destination we call life. And then it finally comes! Now what?

Our sex drive allows us to connect with our spouse and create a bond for life. It’s the glue that seals together. As much as we’d like to think we’re rubber and people can just bounce off of us, the reality is that when we have sexual encounters, we’re being glued together.

We realized that we couldn’t expect our children to express what made them uncomfortable or scared if we didn’t teach them to understand and express a broad range of feelings, especially the uncomfortable and difficult ones. Our hope is that as we create space throughout our days to talk about difficult feelings, our children will be able to more easily verbalize instances where someone makes them feel unsafe or touches them inappropriately.

Friends- do not keep this in the dark anymore. Go tell someone! The enemy wants us to believe that we should be embarrassed or shameful but thats not truth. The Lord died on the cross for ALL of our sins. Not just some - ALL. This is a normal thing women go through - don't let the enemy tell you that you are the only one. I would encourage you to find someone to keep you accountable in this. When you feel temptation coming... text or call them.