I believe that shame grows in the dark. We begin to question ourselves, “if they really knew me…. then what?” The things that we believe no one would be able to forgive, look past, or overcome cause so much fear, we choose to hide. As shame grows in the dark it begins to own our thoughts, our identities or we simply bury it so deep we are in denial about it altogether.
“This isn’t working! I am so frustrated! Trying to work with her is impossible when she has no value for my opinions. Can you please just put one of us is in charge, so we can make a decision and…
Raising a daughter has very little to do with dressing them up and putting bows in their hair, it has more to do with molding the next generation of daughters for the advancement of God’s kingdom here on Earth. Your little girl will go from studying all that you do and all that you say, to a reflection of how you raised her. A large part in how you disciple (train, discipline, raise, and love) your daughter will determine the magnitude of her attitude towards God, her husband, her children, other people, and her calling. God has prepared a path for your daughter to walk down, which can only be walked down by her. You can not walk down this path for her, you can only prepare her for it. Here are two practical ways that we can do this for our daughters.
Gay people have a perfectly normal human genotype; they are not genetically distinct from all other human beings in any meaningful sense. Consequently, the development of sexual orientation and choice of partners cannot consist primarily in the elaboration of some controlling genetic disposition but, to a much greater degree, consist instead in the development and expression of personal autonomy regarding one’s own sexual possibilities.
I know as Christians, we tend to put sexual lust at the top of the list of sins. In my community growing up, movies and TV shows with any sign of a sex scene were put on the black list. But what if our emotional response is just as much a part of our sexual integrity as our physical response? What if we’ve focused so much on sexual lust, that we’ve failed to acknowledge the role of emotional lust?
When you’re in the middle of what feels like a debilitating trial, it’s easy to think that God favors others more than you, or that the situation that you are going through is somehow beyond God’s ability to fix it. I know these feelings all too well…
We’ve all felt awkward around the opposite sex before, “Are we just friends? Do they like me? Is it worth being friends with the opposite sex?” It’s easy to navigate friendships if you can start with this principle: the guys and girls in your life are your brothers and sisters. That is, until a conversation or commitment has taken the friendship to the next level. A very simple way of looking at it is that we are all family.
The other day I was telling my coworker stories from the early days of my marriage. It was one of those moments that made me realize, Wow—we really did not know the tools for building a successful marriage back then . . . but thank goodness we found them, because where we are now looks nothing like those days! The first and most important question we learned to ask ourselves was this: “Who is my counselor right now—love or fear?” Listening to fear led me to see Ben as an opponent, not a partner.
Because our destinies hinge on the choices we make, I believe it's important to pursue and encounter love from God before pursuing and awakening romantic or sexual love from another person.
“We berate ourselves, talk negatively about our bodies, yearn to look like something else, concentrate on our flaws and yes, we even cry about what we look like in the mirror. We stop eating, work out more, take pills, shakes, and eat bars. All in the name of beauty? I don't want my daughter growing up to believe that her tummy is too round, or her legs aren't quite what they should be, or her triceps need to be more defined. I don't want her to think she's not gorgeous without makeup slathered on her face. If she wants to be a totally made up body builder, great. But I don't want her to need it to feel good about herself. I want her to feel beautiful when she wakes up in the morning, unashamed to be seen in public.”
