Real Sex, Real Life

Abi, 27, Colorado



Before meeting my husband, I had bought into the media’s version of sex. I believed that it was just an act that I would have to perform to keep my husband satisfied so that he wouldn’t have an affair. In my mind it was a physical duty that I would enjoy sometimes, but ultimately it was a chore to keep my man content. I thought that the only thing men wanted was sex.

The first conversation I had with Justin, who is now my husband, totally surprised me. He shared with me his belief that sex is the most intimate and connected experience two people can have. Having sex is actually telling your mind, body, spirit, and emotions that you are making a covenant to become one with that person. If you don’t have love and commitment to cover this deep connection, you’re defrauding yourself and the person across from you.

“Having sex is actually telling your mind, body, spirit and emotions that you are making a covenant to become one with that person.”

When we got married and had sex for the first time, it was the most beautiful and powerful encounter I have had with God and another person. God’s presence was so thick and tangible. We knew that this act was connecting us together in ways nothing else could. We wept in the beauty of the moment. There is nothing better than knowing that you are giving all of who you are — all of your flaws, greatness, fears, guards, and love —to someone who is giving the same things back to you. Knowing that Justin paid the price of commitment in marriage, I felt covered in love and was able to let someone into me in a way beyond explanation. I felt protected, comforted, adored, and received.

Abi, 27, Colorado, US

2 Responses to “Real Sex, Real Life”

  1. Wow, Abi. This short, sweet and direct story of truth brought tears to my eyes. What a great revelation. The feeling that a woman must have sex with her husband in order to keep him from having an affair is such an enormous lie that steals joy and robs so many women of feeling valued and intimate. Your revelation is evidence of God’s intended, beautiful purpose for marriage.

  2. Alexandra

    Honestly i thought sex would have to be a chore and i have thought about the affair part. Thank you for sharing your story with me it brought light into the thick darkness that clouded my head for months.

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