For the first ten years of my marriage, I struggled with the fear of abandonment. My father and my first pastor had both left their wives for younger women. Because of what I had experienced, I allowed fearful thoughts to linger unchecked in my mind. They didn’t yell; they whispered. Eventually all men leave. Don’t let them get too close. Then they can’t disappoint you.
Getting ready for your wedding? Let’s talk about the practicals of your honeymoon night. You've said "I do", celebrated, ate the cake, said goodbye and entered your bedroom with your new spouse. Now what? Let’s give you some very practical examples to make sure you’re enjoying your honeymoon and new sex life together. Warning: explicit content.
Five years ago, I learned my son was struggling with pornography. I was shocked and devastated. Feeling guilty and hopeless, I struggled to sleep and cried endlessly. I couldn’t understand how this had happened.
He grew up in a Christian home with Christian principles. We talked openly about sex and the advantages of waiting until he was married before engaging in sexual behavior.
What we didn’t talk about was pornography and its dangers. We didn’t talk about it because I didn’t understand its widespread availability and use.
I also underestimated my child’s curiosity.
So many people wait until the new year to make a new year's resolution and start getting healthy mentally, physically, and emotionally -- but why wait when you can start TODAY?
Marriage is no walk in the park. It is a road full of really hard choices, ridiculous selflessness, and constant service. But it is a journey full of blessing, healing, and hope. It is a hazy glimpse of God’s incredible love found in the eyes of another human being.
Pornography and explicit imagery have become a custom of modern culture and, tragically, our kids are being targeted. What is now being called a public health crisis, the porn industry is fighting for the minds and hearts of the next generation.
I didn’t want to take it a step further because life didn’t feel “just right” but “just right” wasn’t what was desired, it was the real raw parts of me that was desired. I’d argue that this is how love is supposed to be. A great unraveling of all the misconceptions and false perceptions you thought you’d have to live up to in order to be desired.
As a licensed counselor, it breaks my heart to hear the myths and lies that Christians believe about depression and mental illness in general, and the shame that can be felt surrounding this topic. I’m so sorry if you’ve experienced it. Sadly (and especially if you run in Christian circles) there’s a good chance you have.
Post break up, there is a season for mourning. A season for rest. A season to heal. And then there’s a season for self reflection and discovery. Though this time can be rather painful, I have found that this is where God’s wisdom and insight into who He is and who He’s made me to be, sinks in deep.
Who you were then, impacts who you are today. What you experienced then, influences who you are today. The way you interacted with your parents, your friends, and your family; your childhood personality, experiences, and memories – for good and for bad – have all come together to shape you into the person you have become.
