Rebuilding a Relationship

John, 23, Florida



About three and a half years ago, a sequence of events began that would ultimately change my life forever. About that time, I was living with my girlfriend who, in all honesty, I hooked up with in a one night stand. We both grew up in church and knew that how we were living was wrong, but we wanted it to work so we made up every excuse we could to make it seem okay.

Fast-forward to today. We are still together, we are madly in love with each other, and even greater, we are insanely in love with God. We have huge hearts to help others transform their relationships to allow God to be at the center. How did all of this happen? God. Only God could pour out enough grace in our relationship to completely transform it to one of purity, honor, and covenant.

“Only God could pour out enough grace in our relationship to transform it into one of purity, honor and covenant.”

We allowed God to basically put our relationship in reverse and then slowly rebuild it, all the while changing our beliefs and mindsets. This isn’t an easy process, especially when couples stay together like Libby and I did. We moved out and became physically pure with each other, which meant no sex, no foreplay, and during certain time periods, no kissing and no hand-holding. During this time God taught me that I needed to know myself before I could attempt to understand someone else. I had Libby in my “God spot.” I looked to her for everything— joy, happiness, value, confirmation, and even guidance. I had to come to the understanding that only God can be in the God spot. I had to learn what it meant to have an identity as a son to God.

— John, 23, Florida


2 Responses to “Rebuilding a Relationship”

  1. Hi John, I’m blown away by this article, because I’ve been through a very similar situation!
    I got together with my girlfriend a few years ago, and needless to say, we had a relationship that was far from the intention that God had for us… Though we had the same conviction after a while to make it work and allow God to make us pure. Today, we have a strengthened friendship and a completely transformed Christ-centred relationship. For a long time, I struggled to find someone else who had a similar situation to me. So good to hear your story. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Wow, this is incredibly insane! I know this situation so good right now! My Boyfriend and I are in two different boats even the water being the same and there’s split to see. I can not explain how helpful this text is to me. Would love to hear about the process of you guys. Thanks so much for sharing and #noshame !

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