“Why should I be a virgin anyway?”
“It’s my life so who cares?” These are questions that ran through my mind as a young teenage girl…all of which were left unanswered, for me to figure out by myself. I had to figure out if it was worth it or not to protect my virginity.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have a value for virginity because I didn’t have a vision for my future. All I ever heard was, “Don’t have sex because it’s wrong outside of marriage.”
No one told me how valuable my virginity was. No one told me that though it would be hard at times to protect my purity in heart, mind and body, it would lead me to freedom, to joy and to an abundant life, without shame or guilt riding on my coat tails.
No one told me what losing my virginity would cost me. No one told me how much pain I would go through later on in life when I was desiring to be married. No one told me that when I’d be sitting across from my boyfriend, he would tell me he couldn’t see himself being with someone who had had sex before. No one told me that not being a virgin would feel like a curse when I was looking for a husband.
I didn’t know there were men in the world who took virginity and purity seriously. (Which there are!) I found out the hard way when some chose to not choose me because I am not a virgin.
I didn’t know the heartbreak I would go through all because of stupid mistakes in my past.
What I did know was that God would love me. I knew that no matter what I did, He would still choose me. I knew that when I was “older” I would start obeying Him again. But at the time I thought, “For now I just want to have fun.” (“Fun” being having sex with whoever I want, whenever I want.) I knew that somehow, no matter what, God would love me when I decided to follow Him again.
And guess what? He did! And He’ll do the same for you!
But guess what? I still had to deal with the consequences of my behavior. And I did.
It was a long process, and let me tell you it is still not easy at times, but I have high hopes for my future, my relationships and my marriage, because of the vision He’s given me.
Virgin or not, God loves you.
He makes all things new.
He is the God who redeems.
He is the God who gives us what we don’t deserve!
My heart in sharing this small bit of my story is this: that someone like you may catch a bit of vision that could change your life for the better. It’s not about scaring you into good choices; it’s about showing you reality, both joyful and difficult. God is able to redeem everything, but it cost Him greatly. In fact, it cost Him everything He had. Don’t take it for granted, but live your life of purity to the fullest, knowing how much it is worth!
— Jessica Kopp (Intern)
Powerful and empowering words. I appreciate your honesty and hope those who read them take them to heart.
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I can relate but feel like I receive the same rejection and judgement for being a 36 yr old male virgin. I was taught sex was sacred and reserved for marriage. I feel I was lied to. I used to have a dream of meeting someone who saved themselves for marriage…used to. I see no value in virginity anymore.
The most annoying issue here is the men expecting virginity aren’t virgins!As a virgin myself, I find sexually active, non-Christian men value it more than Christian men.
Everything is upside down.
Hi, i’m feeling exactly like steve. Right now i see two ways.- I need a woman who is a virgin
– I see no value in virginity anymore
I won’t believe, that there are only these two ways.
What does it need, as a man who is waiting, to say 100% “YES” to a woman, who’s not a virgin anymore – to say 100% “YES”, no matter what she already did?
Does it need a wonder?
Knowing how to walk in purity, even if someone hasn’t done it their whole life, is a valuable thing to know how to do. It’s a valuable thing to know how to not just go with your feelings, but to go with what you know is the healthiest, best thing to do for yourself and for the other person. It’s also evidence that someone is trusting the Lord and following the design He set out for us. The beauty of God’s grace is that it can restore people, no matter what their past looks like. Regardless of how they used to live, how they’re living now is what’s important. Here are few more articles that may shed some light on why not having sex outside of marriage is valuable: https://moralrevolution.com/the-invisible-effects-of-sex-before-marriage/ https://moralrevolution.com/first-comes-sex-then-comes/ Hope this helps!