Show Notes
What happens when you finally stop pretending you want freedom, and actually tell God the truth?
In this deeply honest conversation, Ben Fitzgerald shares his story of struggling with pornography while walking in ministry, the moment God confronted what he was still keeping as an option, and how real freedom finally came when everything was brought into the light.
Ben opens up about the tension of being anointed but still broken, the night he told God, “I want this, but I do not want to want it,” and why honesty from spiritual leadership played a crucial role in his deliverance. He also shares how Bethel leadership refused to let him step into pastoral leadership while he was secretly battling pornography and how that loving but firm boundary became part of his healing.
We’ll talk about:
- What it actually looks like when God rescues someone from addiction
- Why wanting freedom and being free are not the same thing
- The moment Ben realized pornography was still an option in his heart
- How honest accountability broke the power of secret sin
- Why spiritual compromise dulls our sensitivity to God
- What the fear of the Lord really looks like in a believer’s life
- What to say to someone who feels spiritually numb or stuck
- Why fighting sexual sin alone never works
If you feel trapped in a private battle, tired of starting over, or afraid that your sin disqualifies you from God’s calling, this episode is for you. Ben’s story is proof that freedom is possible, but it requires truth, surrender, and courage.
Let’s talk about it
Listen to the full episode:
