I’M NOT PERFECT, BUT I’LL BE THE BEST ME I CAN BE

In my first relationship, we were both young and had few tools for communicating our feelings and needs. I would make jokes with her like I would with my guy friends, and she would react to them, though she couldn’t talk to me about how I made her feel. Similarly, I would never say how uncomfortable or hurt conversations or actions made me feel. This led to major misunderstood actions and reactions.

“We were both young and had few tools for communicating our feelings and needs.”

One day, I blew up after bottling my emotions and lashed out at her. The relationship was over all because we couldn’t communicate about our own foundations, what we needed to work through, and where we needed help and understanding.

Today, I am now with my perfect match — the woman of my dreams. She is gorgeous, powerful, God-fearing, and she completely loves me. However, we do have problems. We both have a history, we both have things that are not each other’s “normal”, and things that are just generally not amazing. However, we came into the relationship saying, “Okay, I am not perfect, but I will be the best ‘me’ with your help.” We have managed to work through things with communication. We know we don’t need to react, but need to communicate, understand each other’s heart, and grow together.

–– Samuel, 25, England