What They Don’t Tell You About Getting Free From Porn

I used to think that if I just got enough courage to tell someone about my addiction to pornography, then they could help keep me accountable, and this struggle I have would all disappear.

Well one day, I found enough strength in The Lord to tell someone, and did it change things? Yes. Did it make it all go away? No. 

Like many other stories, where someone sought accountability, or even downloaded a screen monitoring system on their devices, they found themselves still stuck wondering if they would ever get free. But what is so important for women and men to know is that no course or accountability has the power to set you free. Ultimately, it always goes back to Jesus and what our relationship with Him looks like. I founded Freedom Hub International because of my own testimony with porn, and with the knowledge that millions of women are struggling with this silent addiction, and they need not just resources, but Jesus. The first thing I ask the girls I counsel is to tell me what their relationship with Jesus looks like. More often than not, they tell me it's not where they want it to be and they feel some sort of distance from Him. And that right there is what I focus on more than anything else. 

I can talk to you all day long about the mental and emotional effects of pornography, or pray for your deliverance from the spirit of porn, but if you aren't walking by the spirit as it says in Galatians 6, you will only gratify the desires of your flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are always in conflict with each other. So with that said, here are four important steps to walking in full freedom:

1. KNOW THE TRUTH

When you were first exposed to porn, by yourself, or through someone else, a door was opened. The enemy walked right in, sat down, and took jurisdiction, which is what we call a stronghold. You might think back at this moment with regret or shame, but what I want to do right now is completely obliterate those feelings and lies with this simple truth. That moment you were exposed, it was an INJUSTICE. Whether you were 7 years old or 18, the enemy tried to attack your purity, and ever since that day has been attacking that very thing. We know sex was made for the covenant of marriage, but what the enemy has tried to do is distort that very image, and give you this fake comfortable feeling while watching porn like it's normal when in fact watching people have sex is not normal. When we have a stronghold in our life, our eyes and ears filter through it, so although it is possible to find enough will to say no to pornography, it makes it a lot harder when we have a demon yelling in our ear. It also affects the way we see ourselves, others, and even God. But the good news is, Jesus can set us free from this, and in fact, He is the only one! Jesus is not mad at you nor is he ashamed of you, but He is fighting on your behalf, and if we would just rest in His power and His grace, our life would be completely transformed. 

2. GO AFTER HEALING

Jesus cares about you being whole and healthy and if you want true freedom, you have to care for your spirit and soul first. There are roots (deep reasons) for everything we do, and it all starts when we're children. How you were exposed to porn, the way your parents treated you, the way your friends or past boyfriends/girlfriends talked to you, it all plays a part. Porn can become our safe place, and when we need something whether it's love, affirmation, or peace, we run to it. Our brain gets rewired to crave it. But if we allow God to come into those dark, hidden, and hurting places, God can first heal us, and second, renew our minds to come to Him instead. So by walking through the healing process, whether it's going to counseling, talking to a mentor, or having your own private times with Jesus, He will expose and heal those roots. 

If you cut down a real tree, you can see the history of the tree as well as its future. You can see whether it was dying and unhealthy or if it was living and thriving. I had a good mentor of mine put it this way if a tree represented our life, what would they find? If someone were to cut our trunk and look at the roots underneath, which are our beliefs, world-views, traumas, or childhood, are the roots living or dying? How healthy our roots are, shows how healthy the tree will be. So if we have undealt with trauma, unforgiveness, or shaky beliefs, our tree (our life) will be affected. That is why it says in John 15, “He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” If we allow Jesus to prune us, although it may be uncomfortable, we will produce some of the greatest fruit, and that is freedom. 

3. DELIVERANCE

I have found that people love to skip to this step, and although it is very helpful, it doesn’t stop here. Deliverance sets us free but it doesn’t keep us free, the truth does that, which is Jesus. But deliverance is an important step to taking that ground back. So here is a simple prayer example of how you can pray a prayer of deliverance from pornography/perversion:

Jesus, I love you

I surrender

I repent for partnering with the sin of pornography and masturbation and I ask for your forgiveness 

I choose to turn away from it 

I rebuke and divorce the spirit of porn in Jesus Name 

Porn is not my savior

Jesus is my savior 

And I close that door now in Jesus Name

I choose to forgive myself just the way you forgive me, Jesus

You are not mad or ashamed of me 

I surrender my life including my mind back to you 

Amen

4. WALK WITH JESUS

What does this look like for a believer struggling to say no to porn? It means to completely lay yourself down, and allow God in. Practically that could look like you seeking Him morning and night, reading your bible, singing to Him, loving on Him, and letting Him love all over you. You don’t have to be battling an addiction to be doing this, but for someone who is struggling to keep their thoughts aligned with the word of God, this is so crucial. Think about when you’re most triggered, whether it's a certain time of day, or after a certain situation. It could be when you’re stressed, bored, frustrated, and instead of scrolling on your phone or watching tv, use that time to talk to Jesus or declare the word of God over yourself. Like I mentioned before, if you walk with the Spirit, you will want things of the Spirit.

I know that this journey towards freedom isn’t easy, but I truly believe that freedom is possible for every single one of you! Don’t give up on yourself, keep fighting, and rest in the knowledge that Jesus loves you and cares more about your freedom than you do.

Want to get connected with Taylor Muthoka? Head to Freedom Hub International to learn more!