How Do I Prepare For A Breakup?

QUESTION

I am in a year and a half long relationship and it is getting worse by the day. To prepare myself for a breakup, how can I prepare my body for it (lowering vasopressin or any bonding hormone that was released to bond me to my girlfriend)?

DOC'S ANSWER

Hormones do play a role in bonding (vasopressin, oxytocin, testosterone, and so forth), but relationships in a tailspin and the grief of loss are more than this or that chemical going up or down. Unfortunately, there is going to be pain – sad, raw, and unavoidable.

How do you prepare your body? Eat well and regularly; hydrate consistently; get plenty of rest; exercise; spend quality time talking and hanging out with emotionally and spiritually healthy friends; prioritize the things in your life that matter and cut way back on non-essentials; say no to new duties or dating right now (you’ll be on the rebound and a set up for bad choices); and focus well on your relationship with God. In fact, bring it all to God just as it is and as you are. As Sy Rogers likes to say, bring your dirt to God and do so quickly. I wish you well as you go through this valley.

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Andre Van Mol, MD

Dr Andre Van Mol, MD is a board-certified family physician. His education included the University of Southern California, the Medical College of Wisconsin, Charleston Naval Hospital, and the Naval Aerospace Medical Institute. He is a diplomate of the American Board of Family Practice, and member of the American Academy of Family Physicians and the Christian Medical & Dental Associations. Dr. Van Mol serves on the boards of Bethel Church (where he is also an elder), Moral Revolution, PrayNorthstate, and iBranches (safe home for children victims of domestic minor sex trafficking). He speaks and writes on bioethics and Christian apologetics, is experienced in short-term medical missions, and is a former US Navy officer (family physician and carrier air wing flight surgeon). He and his wife, Evelyn (also a former Navy officer) – both of whom were Canadian born and raised in America – live in Redding, CA, with their two sons, one daughter, and a reasonably steady stream of foster children.