Isolation Never Helped Anyone

Like a family relative you keep locked in the basement, porn was only let out when no one was home. 

Growing up poor as the chunky pastor’s daughter in a very liberal, small town set me up for failure pretty early on. I loved people, but had very low self-esteem and no Christian friends to gain strength from. Isolated and lacking vision for my life, I sought refuge from pain.

The first time I saw porn was in the third grade. I was exposed to this crippling vice, which took years to conquer, through a friend who later grew up to have a million kids, all with different baby daddies. As I grew up, different emotions and needs would trigger my need for porn: comfort, adventure, education, control, risk. Porn could supply it—or so I thought. Like a family relative you keep locked in the basement, porn was only let out when no one was home. I hid it and hid it well. It wasn’t until my twenties that God revealed His desire to bring me out of this destructive pattern, which only led to loneliness and shame.

The first step in getting help was allowing God into every area I had kept hidden. Letting God hear your pain and accepting His love is an ongoing process. You need to become transparent and intimate in a healthy way with healthy people. Bring things into the light with those who have conquered these issues as well. It takes a huge amount of risk, and you’re not going to feel like doing it, but I promise there is freedom from the isolation you’re in. Face the pain, and it will lessen in time. On the other side are genuine, transparent relationships that God has intended for you all along. Resolve in your heart that you will no longer be passive when it comes to sexual content of any kind: movies, commercials, Internet, etc. There are resources available if you look for them. No one can do this for you, but God is all for you.

— Liz 33, North Carolina