The Honeymoon Night

QUESTION

I am a virgin, but one day when I am married (hopefully) I’ll have sex. I keep hearing all of my friends that are going to get married talk about having to stretch themselves so that their husbands will be able to fit. Is that something I should worry about? Is it common for it not to fit?

DOCTOR’S ANSWER

I understand your concern, but fear not. You and your husband will very likely be a fit without your having to dilate yourself. Remember, one day you’ll probably have a baby, and that little blessing will cause considerably more stretching than a husband ever will. Yet have you ever heard your friends talk about the need to stretch their vaginas for childbirth?

Sexual intercourse can be a bit painful for a woman the first few times, but it is often much less so than many women fear. Some women try taking Tylenol or Motrin before having sex the first few times just in case. Also, keep in mind your husband-to-be may well be quite fearful of hurting you the first night — he’s heard stories, too. Clear communication, starting out carefully and gently, and being patient with each other will go a long way toward successfully handling the honeymoon jitters about sex while building up trust and deepening your relationship together.

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Andre Van Mol, MD

Andre Van Mol, MD

Dr Andre Van Mol, MD is a board-certified family physician.  His education included the University of Southern California, the Medical College of Wisconsin, Charleston Naval Hospital, and the Naval Aerospace Medical Institute.  He is a diplomate of the American Board of Family Practice, and member of the American Academy of Family Physicians and the Christian Medical & Dental Associations.  Dr. Van Mol serves on the boards of Bethel Church (where he is also an elder), Moral Revolution, PrayNorthstate, and iBranches (safe home for children victims of domestic minor sex trafficking).   He speaks and writes on bioethics and Christian apologetics, is experienced in short-term medical missions, and is a former US Navy officer (family physician and carrier air wing flight surgeon).  He and his wife, Evelyn (also a former Navy officer) – both of whom were Canadian born and raised in America – live in Redding, CA, with their two sons, one daughter, and a reasonably steady stream of foster children.

Moral Revolution
Moral Revolution

Moral Revolution is a movement dedicated to promoting God's design for sexuality, healthy relationships, and emotional wholeness. By providing resources, teaching, and support, the organization equips individuals—especially young people—to navigate sexual integrity and identity from a biblical perspective. Partnering with churches and leaders, Moral Revolution fosters healing and truth in a generation impacted by cultural shifts around sexuality.

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