Are We Okay?
Believe it or not, people grow and eventually change. When you’ve been married for a long time it’s easy to take that for granted. Not because you want to, but because it’s harder to tell when someone’s growing if you’re around them frequently. However, ignoring this fact can send them the wrong signal, and may unintentionally drive a wedge into your relationship. We don’t want that, and neither do you… so here are 3 Practical Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage.
1. Start Dating
Dating is intentional. Connection is intentional, and just because you’re near someone doesn’t necessarily mean you’re connecting with them. If that means scheduling some time off or setting a specific “date day”, then do it. We know how difficult this may be for those of you with busy schedules, or little ones.
Remember that African proverb about it taking a whole village to raise a child, or something?
Sending the kids off to grandma’s never hurt anyone, and as parents sometimes you need a break to re-calibrate. Get back on the same page, and find space to connect without any distractions. If reading this is giving you ideas – don’t put it off! Ask your spouse out on a date, and don’t worry about them rejecting you because they already said, “I do.”
2. Ask More
Being able to communicate less isn’t a sign of a great connection, it’s being able to communicate more often and unashamedly. Sure, there are things that you will begin to understand about each other when you’ve been together for a long time: like favorite color, how they order their eggs, what their favorite shows on Netflix are, or even how they were feeling at that awkward couple’s party. However, don’t ever let assumption take the place of simply asking, especially since…
assumption can hurt a lot more.
If that’s not you, and you feel comfortable asking, but you’re putting pressure on your spouse to figure you out… then stop! You shouldn’t take away your spouse’s freedom to ask questions in an attempt to see if they “really care” or in order to have the upper-hand. It’s not fair.
3. Dream Again
Remember that dream that you left on the shelf a long time ago… you know the one hidden behind all those books you don’t read? It’s time to pick up and pursue those dreams again! Listen:
You’re not really you when something that’s a part of you has to hide,
and growing independently isn’t going to ruin your relationship. Instead, growing independently will add a different dimension to your marriage. Don’t let your marriage become your scapegoat. Rather, give it a chance to become a source of encouragement for your dreams. Whether you’re the one pursuing your dreams or you’re the one supporting your spouse, it is absolutely necessary that you’re both able to express yourselves fully. Dream on and live strong people!
