How To Stop

How to stop. 

How to say no. 

How to stop feeling shame. 

How to say yes to Jesus when my flesh is screaming at me. 

Those are the most common questions I get when it comes to sexual sin. Whether that’s a sex addiction, pornography addiction, masturbation addiction, or lustful thinking. These are all addictions that involve a physical aspect to them. Your body is DESIRING something and it’s making it clear. These desires are real and ARE from God, so the prayer should not be, “God, take these desires away!” It should be something along the lines of, “God, help me have self-control and stewardship over my own body!” So don’t think that because you have these desires and temptations it’s sinful. It’s sinful when you choose to say yes to your flesh instead of righteousness. 

1. HOW TO STOP AND SAY NO.

• Know your why and why you aren’t taking part in these acts. Let me cut it straight, your why has to be for Jesus. It can’t be for your purity, for your future husband, or to be a “good Christian.” These things can be good reasons and fruitful, but you need an anchor to hold you down. It’s like wanting to start a diet and having your reason being that you want to look better for a specific guy. That reason will not sustain you or keep your attention. John 14:6, Isaiah 26:3, Psalm 11:3

• When you are feeling tempted, stop what you are doing and stand up. Stand up and declare scripture over yourself. Find 2 or 3 verses and memorize those. Say them out loud as if you are saying them to the enemy. Something that has helped me a lot is studying Matthew 4! Jesus went through temptation in the desert. How did he handle it? It was by declaring scripture over his situation and circumstances. It wasn’t by “willpower” !!!  It was by TRUTH that carries authority and power. Study how Jesus said no to the enemy and model that in your own walk and struggle against the sin in your life. 

• Your sin comes when your eyes aren’t on Jesus. Also, sin doesn’t just “happen!” Sin is planted, watered, then conceived. James 1:13-15 explains this perfectly. James 1:14-15 specifically says, “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then, desire when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully grown, brings forth death.” See friend, what you follow on Instagram, the texts, the shows/movies you watch, the music you listen to, and the thoughts you give into are the first things that need to change if you want to be free from sin.

• 2. How to stop feeling ashamed and dirty. 

• Know what Jesus has done on the cross for you. Study the gospel. Know that what He did for you carries power and authority. Did you know He died on the cross with FULL knowledge of what decisions you would make? Did you know that His forgiveness for you isn’t capped at a certain amount of sin you commit? His grace is sufficient for you. (2 Corinthians 12:9) Whether you feel like it is or not. His forgiveness and grace for you doesn’t make sense and it never will until you understand the love behind it. 

• Tell people around you about what you struggle with. Yeah, it will feel uncomfortable and it will be hard. When I told my best friend, I am not kidding when I tell you…it took me over 15 minutes of sitting in silence to tell her. It was HARD. I was filled with shame, yet she only responded with grace. You wanna know the crazy thing? Most everyone I have told about this sin has struggled with it themselves. This area of sin is not abnormal. You’re not the only one struggling with it. But it needs to be talked about because the more you do, the more light comes into the dark room. Lights start to get turned on in the dark room you have kept dark for so long. 2 Corinthians 6:14

• Choose to believe truth over what you feel. If you allow your feelings to dictate how you believe about yourself then you will be struggling with self-hatred your whole life. Because we ARE sinners by nature and we were born into slavery of sin. But Jesus comes into our lives and is our savior. Our savior who carries authority, strength, and power. These sins don’t rule your life so quit acting like they have power. (Romans 6:14)

Before I finish, I want you to know that you are so loved. You are so forgiven. You are not alone. But you can’t keep sinning. Romans 6:14 speaks, “For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.” So yes, sin doesn’t have power in your life because grace is STRONGER, but sin DOES have side effects. When Jesus forgave the woman at the well, He completely forgave her. BUT, He didn’t stop there. He said, “Go and sin no more.” He desires for us to free of sin and living in holiness since we are carriers of His spirit. He desires for us to walk in purity and follow after Him. There is beauty and peace in repentance. There is no shame or guilt in repenting. Repenting is the most joyous act we can do as followers of Christ because it is an intentional act of saying, “Jesus, I can’t do this without you. I fall short every time. Forgive me.” And guess what? HE DOES FORGIVE US. He doesn’t say, “Why did you sin again? “ I thought you were done with that?” “Why haven’t you gotten over that sin yet?” 

He is forgiveness. The only way you will be able to walk in this freedom and forgiveness is knowing Him. Which means spending time at His feet in repentance daily, thanking Him for His gracious love, and learning who He is. Which means opening your bible. 

I get the struggle. But I also get that Jesus is more than enough for overcoming sin. Walk in truth. Walk in love. Walk in grace.

Get her ebook here! How To Stop