Alright, there is a topic that we don’t talk a whole lot about in the church and I think we need to start bringing light to it. Women struggling with porn and masturbation. We’ve been there in a youth group or a church service listening to the pastor talk about sin. He says, “and for the guys out there—porn addiction and pride needs to be dealt with.” But why did he just address the men and not the women? There are so many people out there who think these are issues just men struggle with but that is far from the truth.
Within the past year, I went through some things that made me feel like a failure as a woman. The enemy put in my head all these lies about myself that led me to porn and masturbation. I felt like since I could control this aspect of my sexuality that I was more of a woman because of it. I knew going into it that it was wrong—I had many gal pals who have struggled their entire life with it. But still, I let my pride and insecurities lead me into this dark sin.
Throughout this year I have come to know Jesus’ deep love and forgiveness for each of his children. I have learned that there is absolutely nothing we can do to make Him love us any less. The enemy wants me to believe that I am not worthy of His love because of this sin that I struggle with – but that is far from the truth. The enemy also wants me to believe that I am insane because I am a woman and I shouldn’t struggle with this sin that “only men struggle with.” The Lord has redeemed this sin A LOT and has taught me a lot through this. I know that He is going to use my story to bring so many girls into revelation and freedom. He is a redemptive & gracious God that doesn’t allow things to happen without purpose.
During this last year, the Lord has given me a few women to talk to and in every conversation I have had it turns out that the other girl who I was talking with also has struggled with it. Ladies—if you struggle with porn or masturbation—GO TELL YOUR FRIEND. Don’t let it fester up in the dark because that gives the enemy authority to convince you of lies that the Lord doesn’t want you to hear.
On my Instagram story I took a poll for women who have struggled with this and over 200 women voted. The results were absolutely mind blowing:
This means that half of the women do struggle with porn and masturbation. HALF. Keep in mind, the age range of my followers are from 13-26 and these are just some of the ones who had the courage to say they do. This is devastating and something needs to change. So what do we do?
1. Women Need To Start Having These Conversations!
Friends—do not keep this in the dark anymore. Go tell someone! The enemy wants us to believe that we should be embarrassed or shameful but that’s not truth. The Lord died on the cross for ALL of our sins. Not just some—ALL. This is a normal thing women go through. Don’t let the enemy tell you that you are the only one. I would encourage you to find someone to keep you accountable in this. When you feel temptation coming, text or call them.
2. Stop Trying To Fight It On Your Own!
This addiction is chemical. There is a chemical release that happens during this process and it is too strong for you to overcome on your own. In 2 Timothy 1:7 it says, “For God gave you a spirit not of fear but of power, love, and self-control.” Yes—YOU obtain these qualities. Not because of you or your flesh but the Spirit that is inside of you because of salvation. You don’t need only a therapist or counselor to fix this—you need Jesus to lead your life because He is powerful.
Start praying for God to take these lustful thoughts away and give you pure thoughts. In 1 Corinthians 10:13 it says, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” LADIES… God doesn’t give us what we cannot handle. So you take this verse and 2 Timothy 1:7 and CLING to it. In moments you think it is impossible to overcome the desires and temptations—go to God’s truth and declare it. Declare who’s you are and what His word says. There is so much power in His name.
3. Educate Ourselves On What The Bible Says About This.
Here are some verses to write down when you want to know what the Lord says about this:
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 it says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.”
Matthew 5:28, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.”
Psalm 119:37, “Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, And revive me in Your ways.”
Romans 13:13-14, ” Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.”
If you need more scripture or encouragement feel free to message me. You are not alone in this. At all.
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Great insight!
Ps. Moral Revolution is a great resource. Filled to the brim with wisdom. Please, correct your grammatical errors in this post (and the other ones), in order to stay professional.
I love that you guys are addressing this issue. It’s definitely time for the church to bring women into the conversation and for women to really start talking to each other and removing shame.
One thing I would love for you to consider though is your statement that counselling or therapy is not needed but that prayer can fix the issue. I understand the sentiment but I disagree. It might not be a part of everyone’s journey but it is essential for others. Recognising the need for help and seeking counselling to talk about an embarrassing and painful issue is hugely brave and should be celebrated!
The last thing we should be doing is discouraging people in the church from seeking help, especially when there’s so few resources for women.
Pornography and masturbation are behaviours that have deeper root issues behind them. Prayer is powerful and I believe in our God who breaks through and heals. That said, counselling provides a valuable set of tools that can bring freedom. I know it would never be your heart to but please be cautious that you don’t inadvertently create a sense of shame by saying counselling shouldn’t be needed.
The truth is that we all need some help sometimes and counselling and therapy could be a huge part of someone’s journey. It provides insights and healing into the deeper issues going on.
I feel super passionate about this because I felt so much shame and suffered in silence. No matter how much I prayed, I spent years in a vicious cycle. Telling friends is helpful for accountability but they aren’t equipped to bring deeper healing and nor should they be. They are one part of the journey. Counselling is another part of the same journey and it provides a different resource. Counselling is the reason that for the first time, I feel like a can breath and there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
The rest of your article is great but please consider that deep emotional pain and trauma sometimes can’t just be prayed away but rather is a journey that is walked through.
I love that you wrote this article. I went to a Christian College during a time when porn and masterbation was a huge topic discussed with the guys. I felt convicted to talk with my professors and pastors and encourage them not to just direct these messages to men. When I held an event to discuss my struggles with the women on campus, I can’t tell you how many girls came out and said that they’ve had the same struggles! It blew my mind!!! Satan is definitely using this to keep us in the dark, and I am so thankful that you are helping to bring this to the light!
This is so good.. thank you so much for sharing! There is comfort in knowing that you are not alone in this and that it’s not just men who struggle with this!
I agree women need to talk more openly about these things. I am 19 years old and have just started to learn about all these different things that can help stimulate my body. I have also come to a stop where my body no long lets me "finish". I am unsure of what to do to change it back to the way it was before and there is no little blogs and websites where I can go on to and learn about different things to help myself. I have tried different methods and toys but once I get to my peak my own body seems to cut it off before I am able to finish. When looking at blogs and websites like these it helps more to understand what is going on with my body but there is still some confusion left.
Good content you are having on this page loved to be a member of this page keep up the good work guyz, you are doing a great job for awareness.