What Resources Do You Suggest For Children?



My wife and I are children’s pastors and we wanted to see if you had any resources or curriculum for teaching children about purity, sex, etc. We have seen the need in our 6-12 class to have the “talk” and with the permission of our parents we are going to. We just need the right tools.





What a great question and we are so thankful you inquired with us!


At this time Moral Revolution does not have any resources for children ages 6-12 specifically, however, our Sex Therapist does recommend the following books for parents so they may be a good place for you and your team to start:

How and When to Tell Your Kids About Sex by Stanton and Brenna Jones
Talking To Your Kids About Sex by Mark Laaser
God’s Design For Sex Series by Jones and Nystrom
The Story of Me by Stan and Brenna Jones
Before I Was Born by Nystrom
The Wonderful Way That Babies Are Made by Larry Christenson

You can find any of these books on Amazon.
You may also want to check out Focus on the Family’s website regarding Sexuality here.


That being said, we do not think a 12 year old is too young to use our existing Moral Revolution resources:

The Naked Truth About Sexuality by Havilah Cunnington
Let’s Talk About It: Sexuality course, written for use by leaders.
Moral Revolution: The Naked Truth About Sexual Purity by Kris Vallotton
40 Day Journey to Purity for Guys/Girls

According to BYU’s Women’s Services and Resources the average age of first Internet exposure to porn is 11 years old and the largest consumer of Internet pornography is 12 – 17 year olds. You’d probably be doing your 12 year olds a favor by opening up the conversation for them now rather than later so they have a safe place to process, ask questions, and get honest answers on how to manage their developing sex drives.


Can you tell me a little more about the Let’s Talk About It: Sexuality course? What age group would you use it with?

We generally recommend ages 12 and up (including use in adult small groups, home groups, leadership training, etc.), understanding that some 12 year olds are more than ready for it than others. We believe that the content is appropriate, respectful, and educational, and a discerning teacher or communicator will be able to present the core ideas (identity, personal values, covenant, etc.) to children in that age group, should the need arise.


Do you have any tips about presenting this course in your youth group?

If you have a mixed group of junior and senior high students, it may be wise to separate them; they are at different stages of development and are interacting with and assimilating the information differently. Jr. high students may still be giggling at the idea of sex and relationships, whereas some of the older ones may have serious questions about it. Follow up your lessons with small group time, or other opportunities for your group to ask questions, talk, get prayer, and process through what they’ve just learned.


What about parent involvement?

For a younger group, you may choose to invite parents to sit in during the lessons, bringing a sense of security to all parties. Older students may not engage when mom or dad is sitting in the seat next to them, so a letter home may be sufficient and effective for these. (The course comes with a parent-letter and lesson synopsis that you can send home for review before starting the course.) We may even recommend going as far as inviting the parents to go through the DVD or lesson plan themselves ahead of time so that everyone is comfortable and on the same page.


You know your children/students best, so in partnership with their parents, review the materials and decide if it would be suitable for your particular group. Again, whether your group is more sensitive than the average 12 year old, or maybe they’re already exploring sexual activity, review the materials and feel free to give your students what they need out of it.


We hope this helps and blesses you as you father and mother these children into greatness!



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She is 16

She is 16 years old.

This is her first real relationship.  She’s dated some boys before, but this one has lasted through five months, two dances, Christmas and spring break, and it was a big deal to her. He also told her that he loved her; she has never been in love before.  All of her friends told her it was the “real and forever” kind of love. She had the classic teenage complaints about her parents.  She felt like the idea that she was in love would be silly to them.  She always felt like they never truly understood her.


This is not the first heart-to-heart we’ve had.  She has been in our living room a number of times, and she has always come to us when she needed direction. Her relationship with her parents was good and they had always encouraged her to come to us, her youth pastors, for spiritual advice. But when she sat down, I knew this one was going to be different.  She had never been this serious about a boy before.  We had met him when he’d come with her to youth group activities and over to the house when the kids hung out.  He was a nice guy but didn’t connect with her deep spiritual beliefs.  He said he was a Christian and went to church, but never really had much else to say on the subject.


As she sat there, I could tell she was nervous.  I could tell that she had something weighing heavily on her heart, but she was dancing around the subject.  In my straight-to-the-point, no-time-for-games, loving way, I asked her, “What is really going on? Why did you want to talk to us?” She was used to this type of conversation from us; the kids actually seemed to appreciate when we talked to them like adults.


“He wants me to…” She paused slightly. “Sleep with him.” Her head dropped and she stared at her feet in silence.
“Ok?” I probed, breaking the silence. “What do you think about that?”


Her head popped up, wide eyes full of surprise. She looked like no one had ever asked her that question before, like she hadn’t expected it. She began to tell us what her friends were saying, and that everyone was doing it, and that if she didn’t do it, she was worried he would dump her.  Some of her friends had lost their virginity and they kept telling her how great it was.  This went on for a few minutes.  Then I asked her the question again, “That’s what your friends think, but what do you think?”


She paused. “I know that God designed sex for marriage. I know that there is so much more connected to it than what my friends say. I know I have always wanted to save myself for marriage, but I’m so confused. He says he loves me and that the only way to show him how much I love him is to sleep with him.  But sex is such a big deal!”


She reviewed all the things that her parents had taught her and what we had said about how God designed sex for marriage and how beautiful it was in that context. She told us about the consequences of sex before marriage, STD’s and pregnancy– all the answers she thought were right.  “I am still so confused!” she said with exasperation, bursting into tears.


I leaned in toward her and asked one question — four simple words. Four simple words that would change her life for the next 8 years:

“What is God saying?”



I am 17 years old.

It’s been two months since he broke up with me. Two months since I told him that I wanted to wait till marriage to have sex. Two months since he tried to pressure me into sex. Two months since he said, “If you really love me, you will sleep with me. Waiting till marriage is so old fashioned.  Everyone is doing it. It’s what teenagers do!” Two months since I heard the voice of God so deep in my heart say, “Wait. I have so much more for you.”

These two months have not been fun for me.  “Not fun” is an understatement. He said he loved me, but I saw quickly how conditional that love was. After our huge fight, where he called me a lot of horrible names and told me I owed him, he stopped talking to me. Just like that, it was over. It’s amazing that someone can say that they love you and then when you don’t do what they want, how quickly that “love” goes away. The next day his friends began to share with me what they thought of my choice. I never knew how creative high school boys could be with words and gestures. If I hear the word “prude” one more time, I might go crazy.


My friends haven’t been much better. I really have uncovered the meaning of true friendship.  Some were there to dry my tears as I went through the break up, some just stopped talking to me after I made my choice. Some joined in with the name-calling.  I think the girls are worse than the boys. Usually, I can go into the girls locker room to escape what the guys are saying, but that doesn’t stop my old friends once I’m in there.  Most of the time, it’s said in whispers or behind my back, but it cuts deep. Those that wanted me to do it in the first place seem to be the ones that left the quickest.


My birthday is today.  My best friend is still around and is still supportive. Tonight we are going to see a movie and go out to eat with my family.  The hardest part is how lonely I feel.  Two months ago, I thought that I would be spending this day with him. Two months ago, I thought that I would be spending all my birthdays with him. After all, as my “friends” said, love is forever.


So no, these last two months have not been easy.  They have sucked, actually. But I don’t regret my choice.  I know that day, when I sat in my youth pastor’s living room, I heard God.  I heard that He has a plan for me and that I should wait.  Every day since then I keep asking Him the same question: “Did I make the right choice?” That is when His love fills me and He reminds me to wait, because He has so much more for me.


She is 24 years old.

From the caller ID, I can tell it’s her.  I still have the silly contact picture we took of her when she graduated from high school.  The one with her tongue sticking out of her mouth, silly string on top of her grad hat and life in her eyes.  She calls me from the other side of the country.  She has graduated from college and has begun to follow her calling, her destiny.


She’s no longer the unsure teen who sat on my couch; she’s now a young woman, vibrant and in love, calling me to talk about wedding plans.  She has asked that my husband perform the ceremony.  She is giddy and talking a million miles an hour.  But I sense there is something deeper lingering, something reminiscent of all the times she came to us for direction throughout the years.


“Three months until I’m married!  I am so excited!” she squeals.  We discuss the place where the wedding is being held. She met her fiancé in college, at her church.  He shares the same values and beliefs she does.  He actually grew up in a small town only thirty minutes from us, so the wedding will be here, at our church.  She always wanted it that way.


As her excitement winds down, what she really called to talk about comes to the surface. “We are struggling,” she says, finally.


“What do you mean, ‘you’re struggling’?” I ask.


“We are so close to the wedding, but honestly it’s so hard to… you know….” her voice trails off. I’m sure her eyes have fallen to her feet and her face is flushed; some things never change. She and her fiancé are both virgins.  He had victory in his purity all through high school and college as well, though his frat brothers hadn’t made it easy.


“Ok? So tell me what’s going on.”


“Well, we both know that God wants us to be together. It’s just that knowing that, it’s so hard to wait. It’s hardest when we are alone and…he…he is just such a good kisser!”


I have to admit, I laugh at that.


“Both of you made an agreement when you started dating, one where you asked us and your current pastors to keep you accountable. Has something changed?” I ask.


“No, that’s why I am calling you. How do we do this?  How do we keep ourselves off each other?” she asks, obviously very frustrated. I stifle a laugh.


We begin to discuss the boundaries they had set for themselves; what’s okay and what’s not okay to do.  Then, I ask her some hard questions.  Where were they when they found themselves in these situations? Had they gone too far? How far is too far for them?  They hadn’t had sex, but they had gotten close and it was usually when they are alone in his or her apartment. We explore that a little further as well.


“Well, I guess we shouldn’t be alone in each others apartments anymore,” she concluded with a sigh. “It’s just so hard!”


Then I asked her that same question that I had asked eight years ago:


“What is God saying?”


Three months later, she walked down the aisle to meet her soon-to-be husband in the whitest of white wedding dress. They had won the battle! They had made it! She had been through it all. She had lost boyfriends, friends and her popularity, but she had made it and no one was going to take that away from her. God truly had so much more for her!


– Johanna Wilson, Volunteer


Who’s Your Daddy?

Babies have been on my brain lately, but not in the typical way for women my age. I’m not at the mercy of my “ticking, biological clock,” at least not quite yet. I’m not oohing and ahhing over every tiny pink and blue article of clothing, picking out crib-liners and chewing on names (though I must admit I seem to have an uncanny attraction to teeny, tiny footwear). What I have been feeling, however, is the weight of responsibility that will one day come with being a parent.

It is one of life’s greatest marvels to me that God Almighty would choose to trust me, trust all parents, with the little ones He loves so much. How much does He love them? Well, for starters, He takes the time to form each one together uniquely in the womb and knows all the details of their lives before they ever take a breath (see Psalm 139). We also see in scripture that in His heart of hearts, He is willing to take extreme (even violent) measures to protect them (see Mark 9:42).

You see, one day it struck me: I’ll not just be responsible for diaper changes, feedings and making sure this child gets through his school years un-maimed; I’ll be responsible for representing the ultimate Parent, the Father, to him.

My behaviors, my choices and my values will shape a world around this little one, and begin to explain the nature of the universe, and all that it is in it. It will be my responsibility to train and to discipline, to raise him up in the way he should go, so that when he gets old, he will not depart from it. It will be my responsibility to show him how to be kind, generous, loving, faithful, loyal and hopefully, show him the reality of our Living God in a way that will point him to Jesus, not myself.

That’s quite the responsibility!

And at the same time, I am humbly aware of the fact that I will have no control, whatsoever.

I will not be able to dictate whether he will be born healthy, if he will like me, or if he will like himself. I won’t be able to control how he understands or responds to the other influences in his life. Though I will be able to train my child to be obedient, to have good attitudes, good behaviors and good choices, ultimately, I cannot control these things in his life, and I certainly will not be able to control the heart behind his choices. I will not be able to choose Christ for him. I will not be able to make him even want God in his life. Talk about weighty!

And yet, this dynamic is freeing.

You see, as I decrease, Christ will increase (John 3:30) and in my weakness, His strength will show itself strong (2 Cor 12:9). There is sufficient grace to be obedient to the call of a parent and to be successful. If I can get out of my own way, and let go of the things I can’t control, I’ll have everything I need to be the parent my child needs on earth. That is all God asks of us. God does not demand our version of perfection from us; He simply asks for our obedience. And our trust.

If I can remember who my Daddy is, if I can let Him do His job, I’ll be more than able to do my job. I suppose that’s really all we can do. Daddy will take care of the rest.


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