Waiting for Mr. Right

Moral Revolution Team

Dating, Single Life

All the single ladies, put your hands up!

 

Oh hay, I see you wavin’ your hands over there like you just don’t care (even though I know you totally do). Don’t you worry baby girl, even when you feel totally invisible to the male species, I see you.

Hands up again: How many of you are still waiting for a glimpse of the infamous, mythical Mr. Right? (Hey, you can’t raise your hand if you’re already married! Them’s the rules.)

Sure, I know what you’re thinking: He’s the unicorn of mankind. He’s like a good Nicolas Cage movie; a humble Kanye West; the holy grail of the female conquest for love.

In other words, He just doesn’t exist.

But what if he does?

It all depends on how you define “right”. For some, it’s someone who is fitting, appropriate, complementary. For others, it’s perfection. English is such a tricky language sometimes.

Let me tell you something: I’m a notorious perfectionist, so my biggest fear is having standards that are way too high. Not only must he have impeccable taste in everything, he must also have a more than basic understanding of proper grammar, an affinity with children, a solid family, a great sense of humor, be a creative genius and love cats.

Do you know how hard that is to find? I’m sure you do. Because if you’re anything like me, you have a long list of “must-haves” and “wants” and won’t settle for anything less than the best.

But what if I don’t really know what’s best for me? I may know what I want, but I don’t necessarily know what I need. Have you ever been thrown into a new job without much training? Sometimes you don’t have the questions to ask until you get there. You don’t know what you need until you’re in the thick of it.

Finding a life partner can be very much like that. I’m not a serial dater per se, but I’m also not against getting to know people who seem interesting to me. My motto used to be, “everyone deserves an opportunity to prove how wonderful they are.” I went on dates, got to know what I wanted, got to know what I needed (often uncomfortably) and found out what I just can’t live without.

So far, I haven’t met someone who has satisfied that last part, but I’m gaining a better understanding of what’s really right for me. Most likely not an exact replica of me, my tastes, my perspectives, or my dreams but probably someone I never saw coming. Someone different, challenging, intriguing. Imperfect, even.


My question is this: What if we threw out the lists and just listened to our hearts?


Don’t get me wrong. I love writing lists. I love seeing what’s in my heart and putting language to my desires, but it shouldn’t stop there. Once you know that what’s in there, let it lead you where it may. But understand that what makes someone perfect for you is how much they fill in the gaps you didn’t see, how they understand you in the oddest moments, and how they surprise you with their whims. So girls, put your hands down, your pen away, and start listening.

You never know, Mr. Right may become Mr. Real in no time at all.

 

-Leah Sookoo, Intern

5 Responses to “Waiting for Mr. Right”

  1. How much of a role do you think passionate attraction should play in how you select a life partner. What if he’s great in every other way including his relationship with Christ and loves you but you as an individual aren’t attracted to him like “that”. Showstopper or do you think that can be worked on?

    • Moral Revolution

      Hi Lici! Thanks for your question. We find that it’s not uncommon for a woman to grow into an attraction with a man she’s falling in love with (when she wasn’t initially wowed by him). Usually, while dating, they “become your type”. However, we would absolutely say, DO NOT MARRY SOMEONE YOU ARE NOT PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO. You say you aren’t attracted to him like “that”; I would simply ask you, is that normal for you? I mean to say, is it normal for you to have a very low libido, or not have those feelings at all? If so, that may be something you can think about and work out, personally. If you say that you’re compatible with him in every way, but do not have any physical desire toward him specifically, we’d suggest that maybe it’s better you stay friends. Or, at the very least, wait and see if any kind of attraction develops.

  2. A dude you once knew, briefly

    “Even when you feel invisible to the male species, I feel you”

    Not sure I really feel you on that one. You’re at a particular advantage in this case. I can’t imagine a few dozen men not fawning over you on a daily basis, You must notice.

    What I’m trying to say is that this statement isn’t representative of a general audience that you are addressing because you are easily within the top percentile of beautiful women.

  3. Savannah

    This is so encouraging! I feel that as women, we so often put so much work in to making sure everything is just right, and when it comes to that special person, that “just right” can be a complete mess! I’m always worried my standards are too high, but you are right, sometimes what we want, isn’t exactly what We need… All the same, my standards remain. I may just start giving more chances to meet those! Thank you for this 🙂

  4. This article is so good! Thank you for posting! I am in this season too of waiting for Mr. Right to come along. It’s tough! I have 3 months and I graduate with my masters. I’m asking God to prepare me for this man and I’m very challenged by what you said about throwing away “the infamous list”- the list I was encouraged to write by my mentor. I believe God will give us peace about each other when we meet and start dating.

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