Single and Hating It?

Moral Revolution Team

Single Life

There are a couple things every single person needs to know in order to thrive while single

1. If you are waiting on a husband or wife to be happy, then you’ve already began worshiping an idol that will never satisfy.

 

You and your spouse will be different people. You will not have all the same preferences. You will not carry all the same opinions. You will even have different passions at times. Your spouse will never be able to provide the stability, provision, comfort or protection that God offers us.

If you establish that truth in your heart today, while single, you will save yourself years of disappointment and fear that may harm, or even destroy, your marriage. For myself, as a child, my parents were all those things for me. Then I became a teenager and realized they didn’t have the resources I’d thought they did; they couldn’t offer me everything I needed. When I went to college I realized my friends couldn’t even be the comfort and stability I wanted them to be. When I later moved from Ohio to California, I became convinced that now, thousands of miles from anything familiar, if God wasn’t all of those things for me, I would fall flat on my face, and quickly! But He was. And that revelation has saved me.

 

2. If you are waiting for “the one” to arrive, my first question to you would be, “Are you more focused on ‘finding the one’ than ‘becoming the one’?”

 

Keep in mind, you are not alone in this boat. Both men and women search for someone who makes their heart leap, who carries so many of the qualities in the wife or husband that they’ve always dreamed of, and who they’re inspired by. Dreaming of your future spouse is not a bad thing. In fact, it can be motivational in your personal growth journey.

I often think of qualities that I admire in people and apply them to my future husband. These thoughts remind me of what I’m waiting for. They remind me that becoming a woman that responds well in conflict, that chooses not to punish with a bad attitude or the silent treatment will be well worth the energy. They remind me that becoming a woman who loves intentionally and chooses to communicate in conflict (rather than avoid it), honors both Jesus and my husband. Whenever I start to long for my future husband, I remind myself that I would do all of those things for Jesus for the rest of my life, even if it was only for Him, because I have never felt so free and alive in my life.

Stop waiting on something to change to become a joyful, life-giving, beautiful human being. There is no convenient season to be joyful. You’ll either choose it now, or you won’t.

 

– Anna Weygandt (Intern)

4 Responses to “Single and Hating It?”

  1. Moral Revolution

    Hey Daniel,

    We are so sorry that you feel that way and are meeting some real difficulty in your life. You might be comforted to know that actually most of our contributors in this organization are interns who are single well into their 20s and 30s. This article in particular was written by a former intern almost 2 years ago and is still single. I understand what you’re saying but Kris and Danny aren’t active writers or contributors on this website.

    We all have different life experiences and challenges, so that’s something we all face! Our current director lived purely for God, not really dating through her 20s, until meeting someone at 27 and getting married at 28. I tell you that because sometimes it’s nice to hear a story we can relate to! You’re bold and take risks which is wonderful, but I understand that rejection still doesn’t hurt any less. When we say, “Trust God to fulfill your every need!” we really mean it. God loves you, Daniel, and wants you to find joy. I believe that. I’m still single too, but I’m more focused on becoming a whole, healthy and mature person who finds happiness in God alone. I hear you, I understand completely, and most of my friends are well into their 30s wondering where their husbands are. It’s not an easy wait, but I assure you it will be worth it. Because a life with God is worth it! Bless you on your journey, and I pray you find peace where you’re at.

    — Leah, intern, 27.

  2. I really like this article because it hits on a couple of key points that bring understanding to the “wait”. but I also agree with Daniel.
    In my opinion religiosity has gotten in the way of God’s initial plan for us to find that special person. What I mean is there is a misconception that we need to wait for this perfect soul mate that will fall from heaven. kinda like the Jews still waiting fro there messiah. Jesus was right there in front of them but he didn’t fulfill there religious requirements so they overlooked him.
    In my opinion we as single men and women are doing the same thing with this dating/courting process. We don’t even give signs of availability because we are so religiously uptight and self righteous so set on this image of the perfect mate we have in our minds. Every relationship involves risk, if we are waiting for the least risky one to come up we’d better be prepared to die in our singleness. Sometimes the Husband or wife we ask for doesn’t initially look like the finish product, because there not. Our God in his great love for us chooses to allow us to to come together, unfinished! so that he can complete up as one in him, through marriage (iron sharpening iron).
    So Daniel, Don’t lose heart or faith. dust yourself off, get back up and find a women who will accept you for you. it may not happen right away but know that it will never happen if you give up.

  3. shanda

    I kind of feel similar. I don’t know if this article was very helpful to those who have been waiting a very long time. I will be 39 next week and I must say it is very hard for me to even think of the possibility that I may not experience being a mother. I just don’t get it. I try not to compare my life to others but I often wonder why do so many people get to have the very thing that has eluded me. I have been single for 15 years. It is very hard sometimes to keep faith. I appreciate the article but I think it would be helpful to hear from those who have experienced the pain of being alone that are a bit older.

  4. Thank you for posting this. I am 29, single and find myself getting so annoyed and frustrated when people question why I’m single. Whether or not their intentions are good, they often come across as making singleness out to be this horrible disease. Where I see it as a time that I’ve been able to grow SO MUCH in my relationship with the Lord, I’ve been able to learn about myself more, I’ve lived in other countries, traveled and am able to go on fun little adventures whenever I want. Is it hard to be single sometimes? You bet. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been a 3rd wheel, a bridesmaid or had to go to an event solo where everyone else is coupled off. It’s those moments that I have a choice, I can choose to be bitter and feel sorry for myself or I can choose to lean into God and His promises for my life. I am 29. I’m single. And that’s ok. God sees me and hasn’t forgotten about me.

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