Sexting

Heath Wise, LPC

Sex

SEXTING


QUESTION

Is sexting or sending naked pictures wrong to do between a boyfriend and girlfriend? What if it makes them feel closer or more connected? I have read in the Bible of stories where someone saw somebody else naked and God was angry.

SEX THERAPIST’S ANSWER

Let me answer your last question first. God is not angry about nakedness. When God created Adam and Eve, He created them naked and the Bible says they were not ashamed. So God is not hung up on nakedness. Now to answer your first question. Sexting is very common among teens and is becoming more common among adults. One of the problems with sending nude pictures of yourself is that you lose control of the picture the minute you send it. There have been several high profile cases of teens who have been humiliated when nude photos of them ended up on porn sites or sent around to many people in their school. Once you send that picture it can be posted and copied and sent to places you had no intention of sending it. And those photos can come back to haunt you many years later when you might be trying to get a job or apply for a scholarship. The law is changing but in some states having underage photos can be perceived as child porn and you can be prosecuted. It is just not a wise thing to do to send nude pictures of yourself on the internet or on cell phones.

Sexting or sending naked pictures between a boyfriend and girlfriend is not going to make them feel closer or more connected. It actually can do the opposite. It separates the person from their body and makes them just a body. If you are thinking that you feel more connected because of this, then you are confusing sexual behavior and intimacy. You want to get to know your girlfriend as a person and sending naked pictures or sexting will interfere with knowing who she is. Sexting separates the person, the soul, from the body and we are so much more than that!

Sexting only has one purpose, to sexually stimulate the people involved. If you are trying to remain pure, then this is not a wise thing to do. I hear people say that it’s not a big deal, that it is not really having sex. Let me ask you a question. If your girlfriend sent those pictures to some other guy, would you be OK with it? Why or why not? There is a reason that the wives of a well known Congressman and a professional football player were upset over the sexting that their husbands were doing with other women. They felt betrayed as if their husbands had been cheating. It is not having physical sex but it is very close. It is sexual behavior that might as well be sex without touching. It crosses a line of intimacy that should be for a husband and wife. So for many reasons, I don’t think sexting or sending naked pictures between a boyfriend and girlfriend is a good or wise thing to do.

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