Same Sex Attraction

Moral Revolution Team



The subject of gender identification has become a hot topic over the last 20 years or so. However, same gender sexual experiences have been around almost as long as humans have. Abraham’s nephew, Lot, was confronted by a horde of men rallying outside his house asking to have sex with his male guests. Roman historians have noted that homosexuality was common in their culture. Greek men would procreate with their wives but engage in pleasurable sexual experiences with men [only if it was an older man with a younger man]. But there was one race forbidden to engage in such relationships. The God of the Jews had forbidden same sex partners. When Jesus had come and gone he left a new religion in his wake. Originally only Jews were converting to Christianity but then gentiles (non-Jews) were invited to join The Way (what the early church called their movement). Homosexuality was not an acceptable behavior for followers of The Way and as Christianity spread, so did the taboo on same sex interactions and homosexuality was driven underground. It remained unacceptable in Christian circles until only a couple of decades ago when various protestant denominations chose to not only embrace practicing homosexuals into their congregations, but also to ordain them as ministers. This created a huge response from conservative churches and much passionate feedback from people with bullhorns on street corners, and, in later days, anyone with a computer.

There are people in our world who feel confused, trapped, ignored, helpless and feared because of society’s inability to love people through their disagreements.


I have been exposed to so many points of view, and in all honesty, the ones I most often encountered were from people who would run at the sight of someone who identified themselves as gay. Bible verses would be plucked out of context and bandied about like some sort of magic eye or spiritual defence lest they, too, become infected with the ‘gay gene’. The word ‘gay’ morphed into an insult in the school yard. I have seen a number of little boy fights that started with one boy calling the other ‘gay’. Homosexuality is something that children, in my experience, do not aspire towards. But the reality is that there are little boys that identify more with feeling like a girl, and little girls that want to be boys or do ‘boy things’. We have teens in the throes of puberty all confused because they are attracted to people of the same gender. We have men and women leaving their heterosexual spouses to pursue a life with a same sex partner. There are people in our world who feel confused, trapped, ignored, helpless and feared because of society’s inability to love people through their disagreements.

During one particular season of my life I felt like God was prompting me to reassess how Christians respond to people who sin [according to the Bible, homosexuality (amongst other behaviors) is a sin]. Generally speaking, humans run away from people they don’t understand. It started with people with mental or physical disabilities. They used to be carted off and put in asylums so that people wouldn’t be put off, or scared by them. People with Down Syndrome would be labeled as the ‘village idiot’ and tolerated as some sort of public charity. Nowadays we are faced with two opposing sides of how to ‘treat’ those who identify as LGBT. Some churches encourage attendance and promote LGBT leaders. Others refuse entry to ‘such people’ and exclude them from services. Still others stay silent and plead ignorance to what is happening in their pews.

Changes need to happen. But what do we do?

How do we accept people when we don’t agree with their lifestyle choices? Isn’t there a part of all humans that doesn’t object when bad things happen to people who sin? Don’t we measure our reaction to injustice whether people ‘deserved it’ or not?

There’s not a lot in the New Testament that talks specifically to same sex relationships. I believe that Jesus is perfect theology. To break it down, that means that God is perfectly represented through the life and actions of His only begotten Son. There is no recorded interaction between Jesus and a homosexual but there is a recorded interaction between Jesus and an adulteress. There is a recorded interaction between Jesus and a prostitute. There is a recorded interaction between God and a murderer (Paul). In all of these interactions Jesus calls these people, not by their sin, but by their identity. He doesn’t release his wrath onto them – which would have been justified and acceptable – but he offers his love and forgiveness and a second chance. He encourages them to “go, and sin no more.” After an encounter with the King of Kings, each one of these people were changed forever.

All of us have sinned. But the minute I start to assess others and decide that the love I give is proportionate to the [visible] sin of the person is the minute I, myself, am sinning. I am putting myself on God’s throne and deliberately ignoring his command to love others. If Jesus is my example, I need to love people no matter if I agree with them or not. It’s my responsibility to connect with their Creator and find out the reason for their existence. I am still called to treat them as first class citizens. I am called to love them as God loves me. I am called to be friends with whoever crosses my path and to let the Holy Spirit be the one to breathe life into their spirit.

Jesus is perfect theology.

Extra notes for those concerned about children/teens:

If you suspect a child/teen is same sex attracted (SSA) then here are some things to remember:

Their behavior does not determine their identity or value.

Boys playing with dolls is not an alarming behavior – maybe they just want to be a great Dad. Girls playing with cars and trucks and playing football is not alarming behavior. Be aware of the danger of gender stereotyping and labelling.

Aside from children who have been sexually awakened early, most children are incredibly innocent in their speech and behavior and it’s most likely not indicative of their sexual orientation.

With the help of a wise, sensitive counsellor it is possible to re-route the brain’s connections that have led your child to identify with SSA.

Be incredibly vigilant in policing ‘playground talk’ ‘you’re gay!’ or ‘you’re a homo’ etc.

Have consistent and open communication with your child about all areas of their life. Even if they adamantly insist they are SSA, there is a multitude of other topics you can remain open and connected about. Isolating your child will harden their heart to ever changing.

Don’t blow it out of proportion.

— Aimee Greig (Intern)

12 Responses to “Same Sex Attraction”

  1. I love your perspective on this topic. I am a mother of an amazing young, teenage daughter who has been through a lot while growing up. All that she has gone through is just coming out to her dad and I. Because of all that, she now believes she is gay. We believe she is confused because of what had happened to her when she was very young. It is something, that unless you go through this as a mom or dad, you cannot understand the topic. People who judge have no clue. She tells us all the time she did not chose to feel this way and is not even sure she understands why she does. We have chosen to love her through this in all her brokenness. It is not what her dad or I would chose for her. We are still believing that Holy Spirit in her will convict her that He is her all in all. But I would rather have a relationship with her in all her junk than not have her at all. She is an amazing young woman who has accomplished much in her short 16 years and I am very proud to say she is my daughter.

    • Thank you so much for being so respectful and kind to your daughter. I love this article. I went through some things and saw sex too young and thought I was gay, too. I recently came to Christ and realized that while I am not gay, I was confused as to why I still loved and respected my gay friends and family even though I didn’t believe that’s what god made us for. This article confirms that it’s right to love everyone. A friend is a friend and family is a family and we love them no matter what. We are not their judge and jury that is god’s job. Just like no one condemned me when I was confused, it’s not my job to judge or condemn anyone I love because of who they are, not who they are attracted to.

    • Being on the same page that SSA is an unhealthy desire of the flesh, and that same-sex relationships are not what God desires for us, then I’d like to suggest something. Some people are born with alcohol addictions. Some people are born with unshakeable depression. Some people are born with physical disabilities. Although we (of course) believe God can break through and heal anyone of anything, we accept that, in natural terms, some people are wired to be tempted in the same way over and over and over. Why can’t we then accept that some people are born on the LGBT+ spectrum? Surely we can see that for some individuals, it isn’t a ‘choice’ or a ‘phase’? For someone struggling with sin, normalising (or more accurately, de-stigmatising) the struggle is really helpful – after all, God doesn’t call us to live under shame. The only option for these people seems to be attaching their SSA to their identity, just like accepting you have an addiction is the first stage of recovery. I’m a bisexual Christian, but I won’t claim to know what it’s like to be a parent, and I’d like to honour you for the grace and love you’ve shown your daughter. However, I’d like to suggest that telling her she isn’t gay may feel like you’re de-validating these significant feelings she’s experiencing. Thank you for sharing your story 🙂

      • Hi Laura!
        Hopefully this doesn’t come across as mean spirited or argumentative and they you only hear Jesus in these words and that anything not of Him falls to the ground. With that said, in your analogy you equate to being born an alcoholic or depressed and to a physical disability. While I understand that this is a common analogy and used often, it’s actually only partly true. One can’t be born an alcoholic, depressed, abusive, etc. One can however be born with predispositions to those things based on genetics which make it harder for one to resist, while being born with a physical disability is entirely out of one’s control and is thrust upon a person. I know this may seem a small point but in my life it has helped me with both addiction issues and depression to know that even though I’m predisposed I’m not obligated and can therefore resist.

        Either way I love you in Christ and wish nothing but His best for your life.

        Blessing beyond Measure!

  2. But what about the attraction itself? Putting the homosexual behaviour aside, is just having the attraction to the same sex in a sense, okay? I mean, I have only read verses that have condoned the homosexual behaviour rather than the sexual attraction.
    Can you still be a devoted follower and still have attractions towards the same sex?

    • Anonymous

      I really believe these feelings of attraction could just be admiration as she pointed out. I have had such feelings before and honestly when I critiqued and assessed them closely I realised that they were just innocent feelings of admiration and had nothing to do with sex. You may have the same feelings of euphoria and excitement even arousal but that does not mean you have to follow through with a sexual act. In fact it is necessary for you to address the matter, clearly isolate and diagnose it and come to a conclusion in your mind. That way to put it to rest and it doesn’t hassle you anymore. Remember just because you felt an attraction does not make you a bad person; it is what you do with the feeling that counts.

  3. Virginia

    I feel right now that God is downloading info to me on Homosexuality. I asked Him if they can be born this way. He said, “I don’t create against My word.” It was so gentle and not condemning. He is so in love with each of His children and I believe He just wants to give truth.
    I remember Kris Vallotton saying that “the reason people get abortions is because they don’t know how much Jesus loves them.”
    I think the same is true on Homosexuality. These sweet children of His are believing lies about themselves. I believe it is an identity problem, but I have gone further to believe that they don’t know how much their Father loves them. Someone might say that you are amazing and tell you how great you are, but if you don’t know Him, why would you believe these compliments about who He says you are? You can’t believe what the Lord thinks about you, if you don’t know how much He loves you.

  4. Will Remi Agun

    Thank you so much for spearheading this sensitive and broad topic. I have come also to discover that if we base all our life processes and motions on ‘how we feel’ we will lose out on a whole lot of things with God. The feeling of a man or woman doesn’t always set the record or standing with God. Sometimes, our feelings lie and deceive us. The only platform and place where truth is in it’s purest is with God and what He says and shows. He has shown that He’s love and He loves us. He also says that sexual relationships are patterned after His prototype in Eden and it was between Adam and Eve. So, if we feel otherwise, we are being deceived and we cannot let that continue. We just have to see things God’s way and let that stabilise our belief system.
    This doesn’t mean we cannot love, cherish and be friends with those that think or feel otherwise. But the way we can help is when we totally have it settled within us that God’s standard is sure and from there pursue a life of Love and godliness with those around us. Love always conquers all.

  5. Michelle

    I love what Virginia commented on June 9,2016. And I agree with her. God does not create against His word, His word is the ultimate truth.
    The devil/enemy is a liar (John 8:44). The enemy comes as a beautiful lie, he puts thoughts in our minds that seems right,but how can we really know if what the thoughts in our mind are coming from God or from the enemy?
    It’s by knowing/reading God’s word and meditating on it (Joshua 1:8).
    God loves us so much and He only wants the best for us. If you believe what He is saying in Jeremiah 29:11, then you know that there’s a very,very good reason why He said some things are not allowed.

    We are all sinners,but Jesus never condemned us, instead He made a way for us to be reunited with our Father in heaven, for us to experience God’s great love.
    I have friends that were gay, but when they have encountered Jesus in their lives? They were released from the lies of the enemies and now living with a true joyful life. God can give you and wants to give you His joy and His peace, if you would only allow Him.

Leave a Reply