The first time I became sexually active, I was very young. A friend of mine wanted to "play" a game. I just did not know what it was. It was wrong. After a while, I came in contact with pornography, although I wasn't addicted to it. I would watch it now and then. I lost my virginity on the age of 14, and became more and more sexually active. I was always on the go to find boys that would give me attention. I thought if I would go to bed with my boyfriends, they would stay with me. Although I seemed to have loads of self-confidence, underneath the layers of my heart I was crying out in pain of being myself.

When I became a christian, it became very clear to me that this was not what God intended for me. The boys and the sex were idols to me that kept me away from God. I tried to stay single for a while but would fall back into old habits. I was struggling because I loved God but I just could not stop these feelings of feeling alone. Without a guy confirming me I seemed unloved and unwanted. But I kept praying and repenting (also had people in my church to talk with about these things) and in a while God began to show me my deeper pains. I missed my dad in my life (my parents where divorced and I lived with my mom most of my teen years, never saw much of my dad). I felt unloved and was trying to prove myself to everyone, especially to boys and even God!

I decided to get back in contact with my dad again and slowly restoration started. Over time and through prayer, my dad came to Christ 2 years ago. After I graduated, I went to live with him. By now, I have dealt with a lot of my old pains and I started to like being single. I rarely have struggles anymore with falling back in old habits. At a conference, I fasted for 10 days.There God freed me of an impure spirit (and so much more). I haven't been the same since. It changed me completely! Still God is healing me, showing me He is the One I should fall in love with. It is finally (after 6 years) settling in my heart. My father and I have a good relationship now and we are happy and feel blessed that God would help us out and be our Amazing Father.