My story starts as an adolescent/teen that was completely friendless and loveless. At 13 years old I was almost driven to suicide due to the constant torment from my peers and people I then called friends. A divorce between my parents pushed me close to finding God and I started accepting his true, unwavering love. I joined the youth choir two years later and shortly after joined the Leadership Team.

I had always been taught that staying pure until marriage was what God wanted and cherished, but I never knew why. I didn’t seek out extra information and felt I was being lied to or somehow left out.

When I was 18 years old I found a boy who was interested in me and I let all the information I had been told fall by the wayside. I figured it was dumb luck that a boy would even like me, as I was never affirmed of the fact that I was beautiful, good enough, or even worthy of someone. You see in middle school I was a bit chubby and I was told (even by my father) that if I lost weight that boys would be lined up around the corner for me.

I gave my trophy away that year thinking that I was gaining knowledge and finally moving away from naivety. I couldn’t have strayed more from the truth. Year after year, I kept giving pieces of my heart away, thinking that these loves were somehow validating me as a woman until one day I got a call from my doctor telling me that I had an incurable disease. I was ashamed, disgraced, and felt so unbelievably worthy.

Six years later and at my lowest point, I was sitting in a café with my friend feeling worthless and abandoned by God. After telling her all that I’d been through, she handed me Moral Revolution and asked if she could pray for me. The next day I picked up the book and started flipping through it.

Opening that book was the first step to understanding what I had been given and what I so daringly threw away to try to somehow validate myself. Before this, I had an inkling as to why I searched for this acceptance, but it wasn’t until I read the story about the author’s daughter (who never got asked on dates) that I fully understood why I searched for this love.

It was because I never truly felt accepted or loved. I finally realized that I was worthy of restoration and what possibilities lay before me in my life if I only gave up my pride.

After coming to terms with this, I opened up completely and have been fulfilled in ways that are unexplainable.