Reader's Question

Dear Team
I have no clue about sex, and how many ways can u have sex?

Team's Answer

If you have no clue about sex, you are going to need to get a clue about sex. I would highly recommend a few things: that you begin discussing this topic with people that you love and trust; take a human sexuality class; read books on sex. I could recommend two different books for Christians, written by Christians: Sex for Christians and Sheet Music

There are numerous ways to have sex. Sex is not just sexual intercourse. Sex is referred to as: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sex A woman needs to feel safe and protected in order to build intimacy with her spouse. Sex is a beautiful thing and should be handled with care.

It has been said that the three biggest issues in marriage: money, sex and communication. So, just as you may plan for your finances in your marriage: maybe you take a finance class or ask around about the best way to plan and share a bank account, etc... Or, just as you might take a communication/relationship class for your marriage: DTR or LAM (hosted at Bethel Church) to help prepare with communication and intimacy, you will also need to plan for your sex life on how to connect and plan well for your marriage to be a safe place and make the most of the your sex life....the same way you'd want to make the most of your finances, your communication, etc. Here is teaching series that may help bring insight and strength to you both: "Money, Sex and Power" http://www.thestirring.org/podcasts/

I would not recommend that you educate yourself after your wedding night. God made your bodies beautiful and lovely and ON PURPOSE and for our pleasure. Sex is good and sex is God's. He created it. It's not dirty. It's not perverse. It's the most intimate way that two humans can connect body, soul and spirit. I would also encourage you to explore Scripture on the topic of marriage, purity, intimacy, etc. and see what God says about it all: http://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=marriage&qs_version=ASV

Nathan Edwardson, pastor of The Stirring, has preached on the topic in a series that would be amazing for you and your girlfriend to listen to. "Under The Chuppah" http://www.thestirring.org/podcasts/. It is free. Just download it to your itunes!