Moral Revolution – The naked truth about sexual purity

Dear Team
Ok so I was reading chapter 8 in the Moral revolution book this morning and in the section titled "Fatal Attraction" where it talks about the people that no matter how much affection you give them its never enough and sometimes they get jealous of other people you give affection and they end up draining you...I am one of those. What can I do?

Team's Answer

Thank you much for your vulnerability. It can be painful sometimes to realize that there is something that you need to work on yourself, but it is a great opportunity to start a process to walk as a powerful person.

Here are some thing that we would recommend for you to consider...

Love languages
First of all, it is important for you to recognize that you have needs. This does not mean that you are a needy person but it simply means that like any other human being, you need intimacy, love and affection. Here is a great book by Gary D. Chapman called Love languages for singles.This book will help you to find out more about how you receive love.

Living from virtues
A next step to take would be to write down what virtues you want to live from. A virtue is a particular moral excellence; as, the virtue of temperance, of charity, etc. Virtues set a standard for you to live by on which you can refer to instead of being lead by your emotions. A great resource to help you to have a better idea of what virtues are and what it means to live by them is chapter 3 in the Moral Revolution book by Kris Vallotton.

Community
We are big advocates of being in community! Get involved in your community or ministry by serving. It is important to be plugged into environment where you can learn from the people around you, learn about yourself, learn through serving someone else’s vision more about your own vision & dreams, etc.

Spiritual parents/ Mentor
Explore the idea of having spiritual parents and/or a mentor in your life, someone that is older than you (a woman in your case). Let them into your life. Let them love you through you process. Let them give you insight and feedback on different situations in your life, on yourself, etc.

Here are some more resources to help you in this process:
Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a woman’s soul by John & Stasi Eldrege; this an amazing book that casts a vision for the power, freedom, and beauty of a woman released to be all she was meant to be.

Living from virtues (podcast) by Kris Vallotton: this message is a great message that explains what it means to live from virtues.

The Flip Side: Break free of the behaviors that hold you back by Flip Flippen: this book is a great tool to find out how to grow and be aware of the behaviors that might hold you back. There is a test at the end that gives you the behaviors that are holding you back. It would be great to share it with friends, mentor or spiritual parents so they are aware of it and allow them to give you feedback.

Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath: this is an extraordinary book to find out how to operate in strengths. There is a test to take at the end that will give you your top 5 strengths. Those would be great to share with community as well to let them be aware of them.